It started back when I was 14 and I had
It started back when I was 14 and I had access to chatrooms. I liked to go into them and talk about s** and cyber with people. Eventually I became obsessed with talking to older men. I'd cyber with them. I grew bold enough to start talking to men more than once and one guy in particular. I was visiting my grandparents at the time and he was visiting his parents in the same city. I was 15 and he was over 30. We cybered and eventually I called him. We had phone s** alot and we talked about meeting. Now this whole time I never gave him my true information. I made up my name and where I lived and all sorts of stuff. Finally we set up a day to meet and we were going to rent a hotel room and have real s**. Well I had no intention of showing up but it thrilled me to be doing this and part of me wanted to and still wishes I actually had. So he thinks we are meeting at the local Barnes & Nobles and he goes. I don't show up and he talks to me later that day and asks what gives. I made up a lie that my family forced me to do stuff with them that day and there would be no way I could have gotten over to him. He bought it and for years we kept in touch and cybered and had phone s**. I've messed with tons of men in the same fashion. I make them think I will meet for s** but then trick them and I have a laugh but yet again part of me always wants to actually go. I'm 20 now so its not illegal anymore so I could but I don't have the guts and I don't think I could live with myself. I do want people to respond to this. Not advice but I want to know what you would think of me. I've NEVER EVER told anyone or even let on that I did this. What are your honest to God reactions?