They don't understand.

I came to the United States with my family in 2007 as a refugee. At that time I was 17 and didn't speak English. Throughout my life, I was verbally abused by my classmates, teachers, relatives and sometime by my own family members because I was feminine. I paid so much for the sins that I didn't commit. Then, because of a civil war, my family became refugee. I became refugee at the age of 13 and lived there for over two years. I encountered so much hardships in the refugee camp that I wanted to die. In 2007, I came to the United States.Since I was young, I knew I like guys but as I grew older, I started to identify myself. I love my parents very much. We went through so much in our life. They give me everything they have to send me to go to school. However, it makes me very sad and broke my heart into pieces every time they said something bad about homosexual. I am sure they know who I am although I don't tell them. At least I wish they are willing to walk into my shoes. If you are straight, you will not fully understand what I am going through my whole life. It is very difficult for me to be a gay who come from Asian Christian family. Now, I am going to Private christian college. I tried so hard within seven years to be where I am now from not knowing anything.Currently, I am finishing up my junior year. At this point, I am very tired and I just want to give up everything. College is tiring. Being gay is tiring. Pretending to be who I am not is tiring. I just want to rest but I don't want to be selfish.

Report this


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • You only have one more year in collage then find a job far away from your parents then be yourself !!
    I am sure if your parents when threw alot you telling them your gay is not going to bother them .

  • You have the right to be selfish, I am so tired of people saying they don't want to look selfish when they od something for themselves. Let me tell you unless you go out and make the effort for yourself, you are not going to like anything about your life. You are the only one in your head, you were born by yourself, you are the only with yourself at all times of the day, so it make sense if you are thinking about just yourself. Be selfish don't let them push your sense of self worth away. Cause the lord knows those people are being selfish themselves when they tell you how you are supposed to act, working you into an image that is pleasurable to them. Don't let them do that to you, you sound like an interesting young man who has not had the room to breath and grow, and I think you should distance yourself from those around you for a bit to get to know what you want and need and to fulfill those wants and needs, because the way you are is just depressed and no one can live like that without wanting to end their life. So, before you start heading towards that route prioritize helping yourself as your new goal. Good luck and stay strong, don't let them push you around.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?