Losing It

I'm 19 soon to be 20 and i'm losing all hope of been happy. I've suffered greatly in many aspects of life. Bullying, abuse, prayed upon, victim of attempted murder, suicide survivour, ex-self harmer (For the most part).
I've always been aware that life is a selfish unfair b**** but i've never had a moment of happiness that didnt turn out fake, put on or ruined. I have friends but none of them seem to understand, none of them get it. I feel trapped, empty, lost and alone.
My confession is more of a statement. I dont know how much longer I can keep this lie up

May 22, 2014

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  • It's hard to deal with the problems in life, especially if you feel alone. Maybe you should see a doctor and even a therapist. A doctor may be able to help you deal with the depression or anxiety you may have, just for a few months to help you get on your feet, but it's only to treat the symptoms, you need to address some of the deeper issues, and usually that's through seeing a counselor. It's safe, everything is kept confidential, and they are really great at helping you de-scramble the thoughts and problems you are going though. I've been there brother, and it's hard, but you can push through this. You could literally see anyone, there's only counseling, 800 numbers, even local clergy that can help you. Good luck, you def are not alone!!!! You just need to keep searching until you find help that you feel most comfortable with!


  • You need to free yourself. Stop trying to be happy by making people like, you. Tomorrow belongs to you and only you can make it happy by doing the things that make you happy. Dont focus on what you have gone through but focus on the things you have not experienced. The places you haven't seen and the people you have not met. You are not depressed you are distracted by the LOCAL drama that you have allowed to engulf you. Begin tomorrow loving yourself to no end and be willing to tell those that stand in your way to f*** off. Live everyday like its your last.gl

  • Things may not look bright now but if you stick around for the long haul, life is what you make of it. If you want to be happy you have to stop focusing on the past and focus on you, the present and the future. You are luckier than a lot of people in that you have friends. Do not expect someone to understand something that they haven't been through themselves. If they're true friends they will at least listen if not understand. Trust me, things will be better one day. I was in your place once. I didn't see any hope in the future. I felt like the most worthless and loneliest person in the world. I was a teen living in foster care after losing my drug addicted family. I lost relatives who took their own lives. Never thought I would find love. Never thought I would find happiness. I was ready to end it all. Thankfully I didn't. Things are a lot better for me today, but only because I made it so. I didn't give up. Life is hard but we have to deal with the hands we are dealt.

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