Loosing a parent!

When I was four years old my dad died in a car accident. Ever sence then I have had this terrible fear of loosing people. So, when I form bonds with people I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thinking they are always going to give up and just leave and that no one wants me around and I will be forgotten about.

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  • It's perfectly normal and natural to have that fear after losing a parent at such a young age. It's hard, I know. Believe me, I know. But you will be missing out on life if you let your fear rule your life. You have to stand up to your fear. Yes, there will be heartbreak and heartaches but that's all part of life. It's true what they say. It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. Don't cheat yourself out of what life has to offer. The best parts of life are the ones hardest to get. Don't spend your life on the sidelines. You're not alone.

  • I'm so sorry that you lost your father, I really am. I know how hard that is, and how sad that is, and I know that the sense of loss never really goes away. The only thing I can tell you about your fear of further loss is that you will encounter loss again in your life. Would that it were otherwise, but it is not. It's how we deal with that loss that makes the difference. We can't -- or at least shouldn't -- avoid making attachments to others because they may leave at some future point: we have to enter those relationships with the idea of putting as much into them as we can, and of enjoying them as much as we can while we have them. It's those relationships, it's that pleasure, it's that fun, and it's that love that make our lives worth living. Don't forget or let go of your dad, but don't build walls around yourself in the hope that you'll be protected or insulated from harm: you'll miss out on your life if you do.

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