i love my husband of 6 yrs very much

i love my husband of 6 yrs very much, but we've been in a sexless marriage for over a year.. we've always had intimacy issues and i can't help him connect with me intimately, though we both really want it.. i know he's straight and not having an affair, and that work stress is really getting to him.. we have no children and we're both in our early 30s..

i've been a very patient wife, but lately my mind has been consumed with daydreaming and fantasizing over a close family friend.. he's single and has been a very close to me since he split up from his long term partner.. he's also been good friends with my husband since high school..

all these emotions came flooding in when he stayed with us 4 mths ago for a 2 wk holiday.. there was no flirting, nothing physical, yet i found myself willingly falling in love with him.. we became so intimate in such a non sexual way.. i know he felt something too cos he became softer and more gentle towards me as a lover would.. but after he left we hardly stayed in touch while we were apart..

and just this past wk, my husband and i went to visit him in his old hometown.. and it was as though those feelings never left.. he's dating someone now, but that didn't stop him from hugging and holding me so tightly, planting kisses on my cheeks when no one was looking, looking at me intensely across the room.. it felt like a forbidden love, so intoxicating and knowingly potent, yet very guarded and aloof..

we've never talked abt those hidden feeling, except to acknowledge that we've become much closer as friends.. i feel so confused because i love my husband so much and never thought i could love another man at the same time, the way i do his friend.. i know my hidden crush should not be pursued but i can't stop thinking abt him..

i want to fix my marriage but these thoughts are too hard to get rid off in my head.. no one around me knows of my problems, and think my relationship with my husband is rock solid.. i feel so guilty for l****** after our friend.. and i know it would b fatal to even leave us in a room together alone.. my frame of mind is too weak to say no to him right now if he was to make a move..

how do i move forward? pls share some words of advice with me.. they can be blunt so long as they are not offensive.. thank you..

7 Comments

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  • Watch p*** with your husband. It's a start.

  • I don;t know if i could be in a sexless marriage , i agree with one of the replies , if it is so rock solid than why don;t you have s** ? Also if anything else i would in some way talk to your husband about your feelings , and then let him make up his mind , i am so confused about relationships from reading them , love seems to take on so many forms from fantasies to outright cheating , i would wait on the intimacy with this guy , if anything make sure he isn't a rebound and settle the issues in your marriage , i am not saying leave but face up to the root cause of your marriage?...

  • Just admit it you've got a whorish l*** for this dude. Next time you're with him in the same room, take a chance. Make him lay down on the bed, pull your skirt up and your panties down, and sit on his face. Yes, sit on his face and just rub your c*** lips on his lips and let him savor you. You'll tremble all over, have the biggest o***** of your life and then you can go about your life and forget him. He might not forget you though. Well, nothings perfect.
    - Tony

  • When the heart is willing, it finds a thousand reasons. When it is not- it finds a thousand excuses. Either you want your husband or you don't. Either your heart is in the marriage or it isn't. You either want to fix things or you don't. Figure it out, make a decision and adhere to it with all your power. Don't use this 'romance' with a family friend to cloud the issue just so you don't have to make a tough decision. Be real. Be here. Be present in your life and your decisions. You build a better tomorrow by doing things right TODAY. Understand? You're entitled to goodness in your life. So make it so.

  • Sounds like ur interested in s** with your husband, but he's not. I have been married to my wife, 16 years. I am 37, she's 38. We went through a dry spell, with intimacy issues. We've been through too much to list here, but I can tell you, we fixed it through FREQUENT, DEEP, MEANINGFUL conversation. Understand how he is feeling, what he's thinking, show genuine interest in his interests, and hopefully he in yours. If you start it, he'll follow. If after some time, he fails to be willing to COMMUNICATE with you, then perhaps moving on would be best. But don't cheat then think your marriage will survive, because it won't. Communication worked for my wife and I , and our s** life has never been better! Good luck and God bless!

  • no offense intended, but you say your relationship with your husband is rock solid, yet you havent had s** with him in over a year. Doesnt sound like the rock is that solid. If you are still in love with your husband than you should make the move, entice him, seduce him, have s** with him, and then remind yourself that he is the guy that you fell in love with and that you married. I know you have feelings for this other guy, but im sure it will just be a sexual realtionship should you pursue it. In the end, you will hurt to many people if it is or isnt. You need to make your mind up about what you want, a) throw away everything you have built with your husband for a fling or b) become more involved with your hubby, think about why you married him in the first place, rekindle those feelings your first had when you met him.

    just some advice

  • Talk to your husband and find out how he feels about all this, and seek counseling of some kind? not much else to say I think.

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