I'll never be the same

When I was fifteen, I was raped by my ex-boyfriend. He took my virginity, and my ability to trust men. The abuse didn't end there; it continued for 3 years. He raped me nearly every day for 3 years. I was his s** slave who he could use whenever he wanted. I didn't tell anyone for fear that he might hurt my family. I knew he was capable of doing so, so I stayed quiet. He would always tell me no one would believe me. It's true; I told one person and she didn't believe me.

It's been nearly 3 years since the last time he raped me. I've seen therapists, and have sought help, all in vain. He is in jail, but I don't feel any safer, any better. I still have flashbacks; I hardly sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see him. If someone brushes up against me, I feel him. Sometimes I can feel his breath against my skin. He is, and always will be, inside my head. He got what he wanted. He won the war.

Jun 26, 2014

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  • I was 14 when our neighbor raped me in the back yard and he hurt me really bad more ways than one. I tried to tell mom and she called me a liar and wouldn't tell dad for he probably would have killed him then he'd end up in jail. Four days after the first time he got me aside again and he raped me and both times he'd c** in me. Again I told mom and she called me a liar and said to me quit or she'd give me something I didn't want. I tried staying away from him and it was no use he started in having s** with me just about daily except on Sundays when his wife was at church he'd call me up and tell me to get over there and a few times I said no and when he got me aside I'd get one h*** of a spanking and he'd f*** me hard for a few times before he'd allow me to c**. This went on for almost 3 years and one night he called me over and I didn't want to go for I needed the sleep and he wouldn't hear of it he demanded me to get over right away so rather getting one of his hard spankings I went. Well it couldn't have been better he was doing me doggie in the ass when his wife walked in and just stood there staring at us and just as he c** in me his wife shot him in the chest and told me to get out or I'd get the same.

  • 2
    I was in my room when the cops arrived and they were at her house for nearly three hours and I was afraid they were going to come over so I couldn't sleep and I just watched out my window and then I seen them take the wife away in hand cuffs and I thought oh no.
    The next day it was all over town which is a small one about her shooting her husband because of she caught him f****** so girl who she didn't know and she would have shot her to but he gun jammed and the girl ran off.
    I just started to relax and she called me up one afternoon and invited me to come over for she was having a small get together and said I'd like it so I went.
    Well it ended up me having to f*** three of her friend or else she'd tell mom what I was doing behind her back so I am blackmailed into having s** continuously with her friends well at least they are nice to me and now I am loving it.

  • Go buy a gun and when he shows up shoot him he won't be bothering
    you again . It's the only way to spot these creeps with a bullet to the head .Jail is a joke it just by's them time .

  • Being raped is horrible but to be raped by someone you trust is
    devastating in your mind your thinking I trusted you , I trusted you , why , why !

  • I had the same situation last year. I was rapped by a co-worker who i thought was a nice guy. Turns out he wasn't. He raped me in his basement, i tried to scream bit nothing came out. I reported the inccident in November. I was in therapy for weeks and had many flashbacks. Like the comment before said, move away far from him, change your number, dye your hair, and try to blend yourself in with other people around you so he doesn;t notice you when he gets out of jail. I wish you luck and hopefully eveything goes well. Best wishes.

  • I work in mental health and have met countless women in your situation.Its bad.Stay with therapy,move far,change jobs,give up connections with people he knows-in short reinvent yourself. I am sorry to tell you what you know already,but on his release day,he is heading straight to look for you all over the place.I wish you safety and God's care.

  • He didnt win the war. When he gets out of jail. Jave someone to beqt the h*** out of him and move on with your life.

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