Abused at school but now wish for it
It was years and years ago. I went to a private all girls high school. I desperately wanted to be a part of the "in crowd". On day the queen bee sat beside me and in class she touched up my leg. I just sat there while she put her hand on my leg and moved it up under my skirt. After class she told me I was "in".
"In" came with a cost. In class and whenever I was invited to the other "in girls" houses or parties she would feel me up and she would assign other girls to do it too.
I never told anyone but I was trapped because if I had tried to leave she would have made life h*** for me so I just put up with it.
Now I am old and lonely and I look back and wish that someone would give me intimate attention even if they forced themselves on me.