Lonely, Scared and Confused

I just found out that my husband of 7 years is gay. He doesn't know that I know. We have a three year old daughter. He has always exhibited tendencies, but we are involved in the music world. That means many of our friends are gay. At the beginning of our relationship we had s** constantly. But after her birth, we would go on LONG droughts. Our most recent was 10 months. In December he told me that he was unhappy. We have been working on it ever since. After getting back from Europe, I came into the bedroom late after having watched tv. His phone was lit up laying across him. When I picked it up he had been sexting a man. There were pictures of both of their penises. After that, I put all of the pieces together. He doesn't know that I know. I ache all over. Our last conversation he told me that he would be the best husband to me but that he just didn't need or want s**. I'm the opposite. Please help me. I need advice. I cannot talk to anyone.


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  • U have to choices you can have an open marriage or you divorce him ..
    I got married knowing I way bisexual and my husband let me be with other woman .
    As time went on I decided on my own not to have s** outside the
    marriage so sometimes even if they have feeling for the same s** dose not mean it over . I am glad my husband didn't leave him he let me explore my other side and it just was not for me .

  • I'm so sorry. First, I don't think there's anything wrong with a man being gay or a woman being gay, but you didn't sign up for that when you married him and the cheating is unacceptable, straight or gay. You need to confront him. Tell him you know. As to what will happen.. that's up to you. As you said, he's saying he wants a marriage of convenience. He doesn't need or want s**..um Hello, did you ask him where he's getting it from? Maybe you can ask to see his phone. Regardless, it's time to put You first. Because he is obviously doing that for himself. Your child will be loved and taken care of regardless of whatever you two choose. That sounds like both of you are on board for the welfare of that little girl. Can you really live in this marriage? Think it would be hard. Stay married and take lovers on the side? Is that your style? Divorce may be your option, as sad as that may be. If you stay, what's the compromise? Think if you make up your mind, you will be more than okay. It's going to be hard, because it is the end of something that you've worked really hard at. But maybe this is all happening for some greater reasons. It would probably help you to speak with a therapist..help you figure things out. Best of luck to you.

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