The Secret is Out

My wife and I have been separated since July because I discovered she'd had a brief affair with a guy we both met at a neighbor's Memorial Day party. She admitted it when I confronted her and she told me she had broken it off after meeting with him three times at a nearby motel. A good friend of mine offered to let me move into a small farmhouse he owns for very little rent, so I accepted the offer and moved the basic necessities in, but my wife and I are trying to work through this thing to keep our marriage and family together. We have a 19 year old son who is away at college and a 16 year old daughter who is a junior in high school. At first, we didn't tell them the truth about why I moved out, but my daughter somehow found out about it and now she wants to move in with me. She says she hates her mother and she condemns her for being unfaithful to all of us. My wife is very distressed by the whole thing, the tension between her and our daughter is more than she can handle and I think it's probably best that our daughter come to live with me for a while. My wife has reluctantly agreed. Affairs are not just about the one having the affair. They involve entire families, innocent people get hurt because of the selfish act of one person. I truly believe we can come together to resolve this issue, but it will take time and a lot of forgiveness. At the moment my daughter does not seem to have the desire or willingness to forgive and I'm uncertain how to help her, but I'm going to pick her and her things up today.

Sep 28, 2014

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  • You should duck your daughter and make her yours, then ditch your wore wife.

  • "Brief affair"? Seems unlikely. "Had"? Probably ought to change that to the present tense. And then add the future tense, as well. You're married to a w****. Happens every day. All women are whores. All of them.

  • As a guy who enjoys fvcking married women,I am touched by this story.While I do not believe that my actions have ever resulted in a broken marriage,I sure wish the very best for both of you.I have had a few broken marriages of my own,I have been cheated on and wish you quick healing,forgiveness,re-union and return to happiness.

  • I'm 42, never married, and ever since I was in high school, I have only had s** with married women. At first it was just a fun thing and I really liked the woman involved, but then it grew into its own thing and I didn't want single women anymore. Married women, for the most part, don't cling and they don't demand, and to be honest they're really easy to manipulate. And the s** is incredible: they are all super hot for it and they all want it much more than typical single women do. I'm not prejudging your situation or wishing for bad things to happen to you or your family, but from my personal experience, if your wife cheated, she had been cheating before (without getting caught), she only admitted to those three times but there were certainly more (before you found out), it's probably STILL happening (now that you're out of the house, why wouldn't they?), and most important, she's going to keep on cheating again and again. Probably with the same guy, but also with others. Once a woman gets a taste, she wants to taste it again. And again. Unlike the guy above, I have been involved in relationships that blew up marriages and families, but I don't feel responsible for any of that. All I did was get between the legs of women who wanted me there: what happened at home is all on them. And in most cases it can be at least partially blamed on their inattentive and neglectful husbands. Seriously, married men make my life a joy, because I am giving their wives what they want, and I don't have to do any of the other bullshit at home.

  • I am the guy who posted above you.I totally agree with everything you said.Ever since my 20s,I have found it easier and more convenient to seduce and have s** with the cutest moneyed married woman than the cutest or ugliest single woman any day.Most married women would chase me for s**,buy me things,pay for motel rooms,give me money,be very discreet,etc. Because of that,I tend to somewhat gravitate towards married or attached women to this day. I am very close to having s** with a 22 year old beauty who lives with her 23 year old boyfriend. The point I am making is this:lets not blame the guys that much,some married or attached women are out chasing men/women like there is no tomorrow and they have money and time to spend on a guy or woman they want. This should be noted by men in general-do not think just because you got a kool job,your woman claims to be faithful,you make lots of money,take your woman to expensive vacations,buy her and the kids whatever they want,give her credit card with unlimited credit line,have a great house and toy cars and boat,sleep with her once a week or month, you are the man.The man is the one who sneaks her a good morning good nite text message,takes time to listen to her about her day,is available to her any time she itches between her legs,does not expect her to do dishes or walk the dog or pick up laundry/groceries,meets her for happy hour for a quick drink,does not remind her daily how much money he makes,etc.He probably spends no money on her but gets all the honey. As men,we cant win. Am not saying the original poster did these things or anything else wrong-for all I know,he did things right,daughter loves him dearly,son is in college and he has a house,etc.Women will do whatever they want and if its cheating and we catch them they expect us to understand and forgive them,lol. Some of them cry and swear they will no longer cheat,but they go right back and do it BETTER!

  • Forgiveness is not just about the one being forgiven; it's equally about the one doing the forgiving, and there are benefits that accrue to both. Or, in this case, to all. People make mistakes. Your wife made one, and has reversed her course. The longer the situation goes on without your wife being forgiven, the worse it's going to get (I know, first hand). Not forgiving her is also a mistake. You can help your daughter, and display and inject love into the situation, by showing forgiveness to your wife. And by loving her. That will make you feel better, and will encourage your daughter to follow suit.

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