It began my sophomore year, he was my honors English 10 teacher, German and so so strict. I was very reticent to accept his style of teaching more so his instruction. Every time he'd pick on me to share my writing prompt or answer a discussion question pertaining to our reading. Then presentation projects came along and I nailed it with a 100 but never once did he say anything else. Next presentation project I nailed it although I considered my performance crap with a 104/100. Everyone said I was his favorite but to me I was more the failure. It's a hate-love treatment. He was always quiet and he had me intrigued, absorbed in his mysterious ways. He always stares at me, even in the mornings before class starts Fridays.The next two years we worked together on several projects, my letter of recommendation and he finally softened up, I fell for him. Just he revealed himself to me, those warm brown eyes, his epic beard, his soft spoken voice, he has me crazy. Every time I see him I feel I have to restrain myself more so than ever. He's as calm and as nonchalant as can be. But then came that time, when I told him we had to have a little chat and he fidgety began to organize desks that were already straight, made me believe he was expecting something else. I am 18, my fear is revealing myself and suffering an embarrassment. We have wonderful conversations together, but there is always something there, something unsaid that needs to be said. And neither of us has touched on it. He reads me very well as I do him. To me he's perfect he's a fine... Fine man. I fell eventually for his work ethic, his humor, more importantly his manner always calling me "my dear" and "sunshine." He is my debility. I feel he protects me in his polite ways, ugh... It's beautiful. Even if he has this reputation of a hardass. But I know I have to give him up... he loves his job, he's so passionate about literature it blows my head off, it's sexy. He is intelligent, loving, understanding everything I'm asking for. I just don't know whether to come clean and tell him these beautiful truths. I adore him even when our age difference is so big.