My boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years of being together. I initiated the break up, but things were falling apart and I didn't know what to do. We didn't talk for a month after that and decided to meet up for coffee. He has a new girlfriend already and he started dating her 2 weeks after we broke up. I'm still in love with him and we've started to hanging out more, first kissing again, then hand everywhere, then 'i love you's. Everything is so intense. I just want us to try our relationship again but he isn't having it. He wanted to f*** me but I can't bring myself to do that while he is with someone, I already feel s***** enough. If I could go back in time I would try harder to communicate what went wrong with us. (No cheating or anything, just a relationship that was plateauing with no resolution) I've been very vocal about how I feel and he is just 'confused' and decided to step out because I deserve better. I'm having a very hard time moving on, my depression and anxiety have only gotten worse. I'm trying my hardest to pick myself back up but every time I think I'm doing ok, this all throws me back a few steps. I've tried ignoring him but we know each other so well it's so hard not having him in my life, he was my best friend. It's so lame to post break up s*** on here but my friends think I've moved on, but I'm still grieving this. I've heard all the moving on speeches, I'm trying the best I can. I'm just looking forward to the day that I can wake up and feel free from all of this. Usually music helps me, but every f****** song I like is a break up song and makes me cry like an idiot in the car. I know I'll be ok, I just have to get this out of my system somehow.