Neill

My boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years of being together. I initiated the break up, but things were falling apart and I didn't know what to do. We didn't talk for a month after that and decided to meet up for coffee. He has a new girlfriend already and he started dating her 2 weeks after we broke up. I'm still in love with him and we've started to hanging out more, first kissing again, then hand everywhere, then 'i love you's. Everything is so intense. I just want us to try our relationship again but he isn't having it. He wanted to f*** me but I can't bring myself to do that while he is with someone, I already feel s***** enough. If I could go back in time I would try harder to communicate what went wrong with us. (No cheating or anything, just a relationship that was plateauing with no resolution) I've been very vocal about how I feel and he is just 'confused' and decided to step out because I deserve better. I'm having a very hard time moving on, my depression and anxiety have only gotten worse. I'm trying my hardest to pick myself back up but every time I think I'm doing ok, this all throws me back a few steps. I've tried ignoring him but we know each other so well it's so hard not having him in my life, he was my best friend. It's so lame to post break up s*** on here but my friends think I've moved on, but I'm still grieving this. I've heard all the moving on speeches, I'm trying the best I can. I'm just looking forward to the day that I can wake up and feel free from all of this. Usually music helps me, but every f****** song I like is a break up song and makes me cry like an idiot in the car. I know I'll be ok, I just have to get this out of my system somehow.

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  • It will take time but it will pass. You are going through something that almost everyone else has dealt with in life. I stayed in a bad relationship for several years thinking that it was the best option I had in my early 30's. I finally had enough of his lies, cheating, and unwillingness to commit. I wasn't looking for a relationship but literally fell onto this guy on a bus months later. We've been married for 15 years and from the very beginning he's made me feel special and wanted. A few months after my husband I started dating my ex saw us out together. It was after that when he finally decided that he should have treated me better, shouldn't have chested and should have committed. Your ex doesn't want you, if he did he'd act in a way that shows that. He doesn't want you, he just doesn't want anyone else to have you. He is controlling your happiness, move on a find someone that puts your happiness first.

  • You will get through this. It's true, you will survive this. It doesn't happen over night or in two weeks. But it will get easier as time goes by. It's the end of something. Your feelings and the love for him don't just disappear. Best cure.. Stay busy. Doesn't mean dating. Dating isn't really fair to anyone, because you're just not ready. Reconnect with your friends and family. Treat yourself to some well deserved beauty treatments. Allow yourself to cry and laugh, he's been apart of your life for 4 years. But put a time limit on the reminiscing for like 10-15 min and stop. Avoid talking/texting/emailing/facebooking to him. In fact, right now hide or even delete him so you can't see his activity. The girl he's dating is really because he can't be alone. But he sounds incredibly immature to tell you he's seeing someone else and then try to sleep with you. Do you really want this guy back? Please, don't sleep with him -that is the worse thing you can do when you're trying to get over a someone. Guys can do that, girls ..we're too emotionally invested. Talking to a therapist may help you as well especially for the anxiety/depression. But you have to put yourself first and think about your future. 4 years is a long time. Where were you two headed? Why was communication so difficult? There are ebbs and flows in every relationship. If you get together, you could hit another plateau again..how will you fix it? Your friends should know how you're feeling. Don't hide it, but just be mindful about how often you talk about it. Trust that you'll be okay.

  • Hmm. Seriously. Fu ck him. Then let him decide which p**** is better. But just do it once. This is the last chance you get if you want him.

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