I dont know what to do anymore, I

I dont know what to do anymore, I barely feel alive
I dont know who to turn to, no one knows what i'm feeling. And I dont want them to.
I'm always the cheery one, i have to be the one to smile and make jokes and sarcastic witty remarks, but lately everytime I smile I feel fake and im afraid people are starting to notice. I dont mean to be a downer but being gay and in my situation is not fun. I have no other gay friends, I feel like im going to be alone forever, when all I want is to hold someone in my arms and be loved... and the person I want to hold me never can, ive known him all my life and love him with all my heart but it (as corney as it sounds) can never be.
So im going to keep up my facade and hope one day I can find someone that makes me feel alive, like I used to

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  • I know what you mean, I don't know what to do myself sometimes, like when I hear every self pitying bitchy idiot say they don't know what to do. How about shutting the h*** up?

  • Listen to a song called "I'm Seventeen" by Tommy Conwell and the Young Rumblers. It isn't about being gay but it is a good tune that will give a little context to life.

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