Feeling helpless

To start off with, my family and my cousin's family are very close, and I'm the eldest out out of our group of guys. In the earlier days I tried encouraging them to buy or start a business in the field their experts in, but it fell on deaf ears.

Just recently comes a outsider, friend but not family and he cons them into believing in his grand plan. Oh yes, they followed and have committed tens of thousands towards his scheme. I've asked my cousins to seek legal help just for piece of mind but since then, they don't talk to me like the old days now. I'm sure the friend would have told them everything was fine, all under control and no need to even listen to my advise.

Nowadays their plans are getting bigger and bigger costing them more and more. But funny enough, the friend doesn't actually work for a living from what I hear. So comes the question, how is he affording his share of their plans. I know my cousins are having to fork out money because one of them told me he had saved up heaps, but now, feels vulnerable.

Anyway how do you tell them to listen and seek legal advise just to cover their share? I'm very worried they're not going to get the desired outcome and be stung while the friend walks away laughing, or worst still, legally owning their home because they signed the contract believing their friend telling them "he's done all the research, homework and knows everything there is to know, so don't question him".

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  • Wonderful responses people, makes me feel less at fault now. Thanks a million.

  • Be careful. You know you can't make them do anything and it is obvious you care for them. Care too much I suspect. When they loose the money they will blame you and you will end up helping them pay it off. I had an uncle who ran a business for years but it would go broke and all our families would chip in to bail him out. Not the end of the world. he was grateful but never actually managed to repay the bail outs.

  • A lot of times, people need to just experience things for themselves..even if it means they get hurt or lose a lot of $$. And if money is involved, that can create the worse of all situations. People can just be really stubborn and naive. But as humans, that is unfortunately how we must learn sometimes. I totally understand how it must hurt to see your cousins making these mistakes. But what more can you do? They are adults. Try one more attempt and try very hard not to lecture. Be encouraging and positive and don't dwell. Just because it sounds as though you have already thrown in your 2 cents. But first ask how things are going. And just reiterate that you care about them and don't want to see them get hurt or lose everything they have worked so hard for. And that is why you have just been persistent in insisting they have a lawyer check everything out. Just because there are a lot of scams in this world and you can't always be so trusting of anyone, including friends. Continue with, I really want the best for you and won't bother you about it any longer. Whatever happens, I'm sure you'll be okay. And then leave it at that. Move on and get back to hanging out with them..suggest dinner or whatever. Look if he loses all his money, it's on him. You can't bail him out..that's not your responsibility. Hope it turns out for the best..And if it doesn't. Support him with kindness, not money.

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