I should've had an abortion. My

I should've had an abortion.
My husband wanted me to have the child he couldn't stand the guilt.
I never wanted children.
He was born premature and with some disabilities.
I am the one who has to bear the brunt daily.
He is 11 now.
I don't even feel motherly love towards him.
I am depressed again and have been for about 2 years.
I feel that I have brought another failure upon myself.
I am failing that boy, and I feel alone.
I resent him.
I have successfully pushed any friends that I had out of my life.
I can't stand chaos or drama, and excise that from my life immediately.
I feel hopeless.

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  • I have fear that this would happen to me when I get a kid

  • Thank you Posters 1&8- I have made an appointment...

  • If it is any consolation you have an honored place in heaven for being a mother and for accepting your responsibility. I am sorry your husband i smaybe not helping as ought though it is difficult to conclude from you post. I think your feelings are normal and wish you well and hope and will pray that you can return soon to a life you better enjoy.

  • sell it as slave????i think thats not nice of you to say that.how can i make you understand that we all come in different shape,size etc but we are all equal.if you cant understand that,you need to check your brains.

  • I think you are horrible for saying you wished you had an abortion. . .what a b****. I cannot concieve, and I would take any baby over no baby. . .you are lucky that you have any children.

  • just sell him as a s** slave on the black market

  • I think you may mean post-partum depression as opposed to PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).

  • 11 years is a long time to still be having PTSD.

  • have you tried getting professional help? there are a lot of mothers who go through the same thing, usually right after giving birth, but even many years later like yourself. maybe bringing this to the attention of a doctor can get you the help you need. if you don't, your life could just get worse and worse, along with the life of your son, until eventually you could become a real danger to yourself and to him.

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