A friend of mine died yesterday

We both went to the same high school. During the entire five years there we shared not one class. I'd see him occasionally after school on weekends and on summer vacation.

He was a lot tougher than I was. He didn't pick fights but he wouldn't back down either. He once came out on top after being jumped by four guys one wielding a baseball bat which broke his arm. I wasn't with him but the guy who was stayed in the car and didn't help him.

My friend never forgave him for that. I can't be too harsh on his friend because i don't know what I would have done under the same circumstances either. I'm glad I was home that day so I'll never know whether I would have wimped out or not. His friend died of lung cancer anyway so he didn't have to suffer his guilt long.

Time went by and my friend and I grew older. Our paths would cross from time to time during the various stages of our lives. I'd go ten years without seeing him but wed always meet again and talk about the good ol days.

My friend wasn't perfect. He liked his liquor and dope and it eventually cost him his health. He developed diabetes and grew weak. His health failed and got worse as time went by. At age 68 he broke a hip and after what appeared to be a successful operation his heart just stopped.

Ok so here I am and there he is deceased.

He's dead because he liked to party. He drank and he smoked and he did dope. This cost him his heart and liver.

I'm alive because I liked to stay home and sit around reading and watching TV. I often wonder which of us is better off.

He spent a few years in prison for transporting drugs in Florida. After his release he calmed down a bit but not entirely. He did swear that he would never go back to prison again.

He had stories and I don't. He's dead and I'm alive. Some would say that if I live to be a hundred I'll not have lived as much as he did.

Any opinions?

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  • Sorry for your loss. I think you should be thankful you're not him. Be thankful you are who you are and are living YOUR life. Maybe you're questioning your own mortality because of his passing. But it also sounds as though you are equating that doing drugs, drinking and spending time in prison is living. That you think because of your choices, you haven't lived. But seriously, who brags about prison? So he has stories about the time he dropped the bar of soap? Or that he was shanked? Woo hoo. The definition of "living" is different for everyone. You have a story, it just doesn't involve drugs and prison. Is that so bad? Some people are perfectly content with a life of simplicity. Others choose a criminal path (or fall into one). And still others choose a life of adventure. You are who you are and own the choices you make. You're not dead. You still have time to create stories if you really wanted to. Pack a bag and travel somewhere, train for something, volunteer and help people out. Get your hands dirty, but feel good about it. There's no comparison between you and this guy other than you were acquaintances. You are two different people and occasionally you would run into each other. You say he how he lived his life is the reason why he developed diseases etc..That's not necessarily true, there are people who never smoke and take care of themselves who still develop cancer. No one is immune. When you say his friend died of lung cancer and didn't have to suffer his guilt long.. How do you know he had any guilt? If he wanted to help, he probably would have. You said so yourself you wouldn't know what you would you would have done. Maybe he was just smarter than your friend.. Maybe your friend sought out trouble. Maybe your friend lied and made up stories. This guy who you are comparing your life to may have lived on the edges of society but I don't get why you think his life was so great. Be grateful for what you have.

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