I really need some advice PLEASE!

So I started dating this guy. We've know each other for years. We lost contact and found each other years later. Fast forward to now, he lives 5 hours away in another state. He has a child. He says he loves me wants to be with me. Tried breaking up with him on several occasions and he just can't seem to let me go. I have major trust issues and can't seem to trust him. He says he's not with his baby mama but she has pictures with him still on Facebook? Her header is him, her, and their child. She lives all the way on the west coast now but I just still can't seem to shake the feeling that he's hiding something. Is it me or is it nothing???

Sep 6, 2015

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  • At some point you have to learn to trust. Because if you don't then you will doom your relationships. Maybe you should talk with someone about it. It couldn't hurt and will help you and any future relationship. But as for this guy..the long distance relationship thing may not be the best for you. The distance may trigger doubt for you. But the pictures and stuff on Facebook. You have to get used to it and over that immediately. He has a child with this woman. They will always be a "family". And they have to coparent, which means she's not going anywhere, even if she's on the west coast. Just because they talk or have pictures together does not mean they are still sleeping together. Unless the photos are showing something other than that..But that is his child's mother. So if you don't like it or are insecure about that, don't date men with children EVER. The child will always be priority over you. Look sure.. he could be a player and lying to you and he could be stringing you along. There are guys that do that. And it sucks, and it's not going to help you and your trust issues. And maybe the best thing is to trust your gut. Because you know him best. When he says he wants to be with you. What is the timeline? Is he going to move closer to you? Are you moving closer to him? Because long distance only works for so long. And that may be the best test to see just how serious he is. But if breaking up is what you want. Then follow through. Not saying it's easy, but hold firm to what you want (not what he wants). Tell him it won't work and you're not ready for being a step mom and then stop picking up his calls. Because otherwise you'll never be able to break free because talking with him just continues the cycle by engaging him.

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