Confused

My boyfriend, Jamie, and I have been dating for months. However, sometimes, I feel like he is trying to control me and I need a break from having the restrictions. I miss being single. His family loves me and I have dinner with them after work/classes. When we have had s** or made out, I have seen other people in my head. God, I have thought of kissing other people. Please, help. I love him, but hate having my life so restricted.

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  • Maybe,you don't love him at all.

  • You guys need to stay in your relationship together, and agree to duck other people.. you know group s**, swinger stuff. Don't break up!

  • Nice you mentioned God in your narration. Have you talked to him, read his word? if not why not? Suspend every s** and read God's word and find direction for your soul.

  • I read your narration with deep sense of empathy. A lot of folks have had enough confusion from a "confused world" to last for a life time! Lack of "personal identity" can bore oneself sick even to having suicide thoughts . Have I once considered suicide in my life? Yes .. . and indeed, many folks you see that walk the streets are full of challenges and pains that were inflicted or innate. In my own case, in my teens , I thought I will not be able to achieve anything because I was abused as a child (this is usually a trigger), lived in a home that always felt like an explosive device was about to ignite. I struggled with these feelings and tried to fill the void via alcohol and "street smokes". I found fake boldness that was transient. I envied and wanted to be like others. Well, I am an adult now, well educated, employed, married, had kids, drug/alcohol/smoke free, and really free from all my demons. How? Yes, I know that this will be the question in your heart. It sounded foolish and dreamlike but it was real. Someone gave me a copy of "New Testament and Psalms and proverbs"; a little blue covered book which could fit into my pocket. I began to read it from "The Gospel of John" (REALLY one can google it online and read) like he advised me. I love reading and it made sense. Well, I may not be able to tell you all that happened to me but I discovered that as I read it daily, I began to be attracted to and talk to the main character in the story; Jesus and it seemed like and old self of mine was dropping off daily. At some point , I was shocked when I was out with my friends and realized that I hadn't touched alcohol in the past 2 weeks! That was strange. And the stranger thing was that alcohol lost its appeal to me. In fact, it disgusted me. My friends told me that they will "give me just three months" and I will drink myself to stupor like before. well it has been years and I keep getting better; more pleasant than the person I ever tried to be.

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