I fantasize about death

Sometimes I dream about killing myself. I'm a very blessed mother to four and a somewhat loving husband.
But I get very anxious and overwhelmed with the pressures of life. I think about how wonderful it would be to take a bottle of rx pills and slip off to sleep. No more anxiety, stress, pressures.
Then I look in my baby girls face or hear my sweet toddlers voice and know how selfish thAt is.