How could she do that?

My mom divorced my dad after almost 25 years of marriage because she realized that she's a lesbian and "needs to be true to herself."

I will never forgive her for hurting and abandoning him.

You may say that she didn't choose to be a lesbian, but she chose to marry a man and have children with him. And she chose to discard him like a used paper cup.

Twenty-four years he gave her and she just erased it all so she could go suck some box.



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  • Sorry to be negative, but the "how" is easy: she's selfish. She's selfish and she loves herself more than she loves her husband and her family. It's sad. But the sadder part is just how common it is. This brand of selfishness doesn't have to, and doesn't always, express itself in a sexual context, but what underlies it is ALWAYS the same: "I love me, I want what's best for me, and the rest of you can go hang." People will now attack me for being homophobic, but this isn't about sexuality. It's just about self.

  • There are a lot of people who are gay and they marry for a lot of reasons: judgement, acceptance, religious beliefs, family, society, their own need for wanting a family, not ready to come out..reasons vary for each person, including your mother. Chances are her sexuality wasn't a huge surprise to your father. Your father may not have wanted to see it or accept it. At the end of the day, you have to live your life for you. If your mom cheated on your dad, would that be easier for you to comprehend/accept? Is it fair for her to stay in a marriage where neither party is getting what they need? If she's a lesbian, your parents most likely weren't having s**. All marriages have their problems. 25 years is a long time. Don't be so quick to block your mom out of your life. Maybe if you talk to her, you can better understand her reasons. Regardless of her reasons for leaving your father, she's still your mom. Talk to her.

  • Your first replier has taken a very matriarchal or patriarchal opinion...and this may be very telling they are literally pushing their own agenda. There is no doubt your mother has been selfish and exploitive. There is no sudden turning, there are signs and unless your mother was incredibly secretive & sudden...there would have been talk/conversations/arguments you all would have seen and therefore expected. Reading your entry it would seem not. You're OK.

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