(Advice?) Confessions of a Fat, 20 year-old Virgin
I am a fat, 20 year-old virgin who's thirsty for the D.
I have been single all my life. When I was younger, I did fantasize but it was mild because my hormones were still developing and I'd much rather have been playing with toys than boys, but now it seems like all I think about is s**. I fantasize about d*cks on a regular basis (no specific size either. All d*cks are great to me.), I watch p*rn about 4-6 days a week while masturbating, and I desperately want to give a man a bj. It's gotten to the point where I'll mentally plot out ways to ask men that I see in public if they'd be interested in letting me give them head, but I always get too scared and chicken out.
I am by no means gorgeous, but I have had men compliment me here and there and some even check me out. I'm rather awkward and shy though, so even if I am approached by someone, it always ends with me giving very short answers and skipping on off as soon as possible. I'm tall (5'11), black, and what some might call "intimidating" (though I rarely say anything) and I'm worried that if I don't make the first move, I'll never find someone to take my virginity. I've seem many large women walk around with their boyfriends and husbands so I know it's possible, but as I said before, I'm shy and don't have the courage to approach someone first. In fact, I pretty much always get labeled as the "innocent one" when I'm around a group of people who think they know me and often times, people will think that they can't talk about certain things (i.e. s** ) around me because I'm this pure little bean. It sucks.
Can anyone offer me any advice?
(And before you say the obvious: "s** isn't that great, it'll hurt" or "maybe you should stop being a fatty mcfatty, ya fatty", I'm well aware that the first time will hurt and that I should lose weight, which I'm working on, but you can't get skinny over night and I'm ready for the D now).