15 year old girl falling for a 27 year old man

I don't know what to do. I've always liked older men. I friended this guy on Facebook and I messaged him. I've talked to him at least everyday. Sometimes just to say hi or ask advice. He is very mature. He is smart, funny, caring. He helps me when I'm sad. I want to tell him that I love him. He is everything I want. I'm not sure if he feels the same. I feel like he flirts with me sometimes but maybe I'm just imagining. He even works in the same town that I live in. Please help.

Jul 9, 2016

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  • When I was 24 -- in the late 80s -- I went out on dates six times with a 14yo girl, and I had fallen deeply in love with her. She was the best kisser ever. We weren't making love, just making out. Then one night at dinner she said something offhand about "school" that caught my attention. She had used the word before, but I always assumed she was talking about "college", but the inflection and context that night made it clear she was referring to "high school". She had never lied to me about her age, not once. But I assumed she was around 20 because she hung out with girls about that age. I later learned that one of those other girls was her sister, who was 19, and I had thought that my girlfriend was older. So I got both things wrong. Finally, I just flat out asked her how old she was and when she told me, I nearly died. I wanted to make love with her sooooooo badly and I wanted to be with her permanently. But once I realized how old she was, I knew I had to end it. I still think about her every day (she married somebody else and moved away) and I miss her. I also still love her. But it was jarring to realize how close I came to being with her (she'd had several partners before we met, all older than me) and how close I was to going to jail. Be straight up with your man. Talk to him. The two of you should decide together whether to have ANY relationship and, if so, how far to let it go.

  • First of all, be clear with him about how old you are. It doesn't appear for certain that you've told this man. (Perhaps you've done so, and just didn't indicate it here.) Second, don't leave it to him to be the responsible party alone: the two of you CANNOT have a meaningful relationship in this day and age, and you must operate on the basis of that assumption. You aren't Mary from the Bible and you aren't Juliette from Shakespeare: you're a child and he's not a child. Third, ANY kind of relationship between the two of you -- other than (perhaps) teacher and student -- would produce a mess for both of you. If it's just two people communicating about the world or politics or the weather or whatever, and doing that ON LINE, that's okay; but if it crosses over into romance or intimacy or passion, it's going to blow up. Please don't do that to yourself, or allow him to do it to himself or to you.

  • Pah you're all boring fools. Of course she should go for it. Ask him, talk to him about it. Love is too precious to waste.

  • Ok the older man on facebook may be nice but he sure is foolish. You could get him in trouble if the conversation turns sexual and he with more experience in life could exploit you. Unfriend him and block his posts.

  • Do you want him to go to jail if you meet him?

  • The older the guy the poorer the sperm dear!

  • Not at 27. That doesn't happen until MUCH later. Jeez.......

  • A police officer told me to get off facebook and only have your friends seeing your profile because a lot of people on there are not what they make out and facebook is not a dating site love. you should not be on there legally and your parents should be monitoring your activities, because this guy could be a murderer or in some occult. I should not tell you these things but I have met some weird men and they will attack you or set you up to be gang raped and show the pictures on facebook to their mates so never send nudes at all if they ask and if he wants to meet you don't go alone. take someone with you. did you ever see the movie TRUST! see it and you will get what I mean.

  • If you want to meet him what if he is not the same looking and you should take a friend or invite him to your house so your parents get to know him if you really are serious cuz he might be wanting marriage and babies now not in 5 years time and you are just 15 do you want to give up school and career now for babies so young? what if he does not look as good in real. I met a model who when i met him it was obvious his photos were 15 or more years younger then how he was and it was a let down and I had to buzz him off because he just did not meet my needs. you need to think about what your needs are, his needs and your future and your parents. my guess is he is already married and he is playing you like a little fool.

  • Be careful. because when the infatuation wears off and reality sets in it might not be what you really want. lets just face up to a few things, you are 15 and he is 27 that is over 12 years difference that might not bother you now, but what about when he is 40 and you are 30, or do you really think you will be together to the end, he will be 60 and you 50? you are so young, at 15 and facebook men are often liars and married or have girlfriends and you flatter his ego til he is bored. he might want a more mature woman. do you really want to take a marriagable man from a woman who really needs him around his own age or older when you could go out with guys your own age, you should be having fun with young boys your own age at sport or school and living the college dream not where he is in 30something business. he sounds like he is leading you on and he knows what he is doing, I would just say caution because he could be married or divorced 2 times or more by that age and have children. if he is cheating and his wife finds out you will feel dirty and used. I would say be careful and date boys from your church or sport club or college that your mum can check out. mums know better then you do. you mum should be allowing you to date a boy from your church or school and if she wants go with the two of you to the movies with one of your younger or older sibblings or in a group and get to know his family. this older man will be sexually experienced and often they play the field looking troulling for bait like you and if you are a virgin he really could hurt you.

  • ^ lol.. "do you really think you will be together to the end, he will be 60 and you 50" Is 60 the end? Is 60 when everyone dies these days?

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