I feel disgusted when I think about it
I met a guy online and we'd been talking for a couple months when we decided to go out. We ended up hooking up in the backseat of his car. We didn't have s**, but he 'got me off' (I faked it) and then I returned the favour... somewhat unsuccessfully. I regret it so much. Everytime I have 2 seconds where something reminds me of it or him I shudder and feel disgusted. I wish I'd never done it. I'm humiliated because of my lack of inexperience but also because he stopped talking to me immediately after that. I wish I could take it all back but I can't.