My daughter still wears diapers

My 13 years old daughter still wears diapers. Yes you read that right. She's barely a teen and still wears diapers. Let's say her name is Coco (not her real name).

It started when she was 7 and her baby brother was born, let's call him Hazel (not his real name). My Coco was jealous that Hazel was getting more attention than she was. She acted out for awhile. She started throwing tantrums left and right. Whenever we asked to to do simple things, from getting dressed, to giving Hazel her first chores, she would say no, like a toddler would. She gave me and her father the whole toddler treatment. Luckily, she keeps it behaves when not at home. Thank goodness.

After a while of this behavior, we caught Coco wear her brother's diapers. I was shocked, but I could understand why. She also used his pacifiers too. Me and my husband thought that she could use both of them untill she calmed down and grew out of this attitude.

These days, Coco still sleeps with a nightlight. She sleeps with a character blanket we all know she's too old for. She gets along with her brother Hazel now. She still wears the diapers. Coco still uses the pacifiers. She mimicks her brother's attitude.

What's the deal? What's going on with her? We were too relaxed with her. It's clearly not about Hazel anymore. What should we do?
She's barely 13 and still wears diapers.

Jan 18

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  • Parent of Coco Again...

    Wow! Lots of personal stories here. We have no clue how to react?

  • Hi not sure if you will see this but is it possible she just wants to be in diapers? Also your doing an amazing job as a mom. Don’t let anyone tell you different.

  • Parent of Coco...
    Aww. Thanks. I was feeling we were too lenient. We are trying though.

  • I would say you have your daughters best interest at heart. I have three kiddos myself a 13 yo daughter,6 and 2 sons. If you don’t mind me asking do you only let her wear them at home or is she wearing them all the time?

  • At first we only let her wear them at home. Then she wanted to wear them everywhere. We let her do that for a while. Then we decided she should stop doing that. Wearing diaper must have confused where bladder because now she pees herself without even realizing it. She sometimes poops unfortunately.

  • Well it may and I stress may be that she wants to wear them. They may simply bring her comfort and security in a way she probably would have a hard time explaining. Kinda like a older child who still has to have her stuffie to sleep ( looking at my 13 yo daughter). While it may be out of the “ ordinary “ wearing and even using diapers is not the worst thing she could do. What has she said she wants? If she wants to wear them then perhaps let her but make it clear aside from bed time she will be responsible for her own changes. I say except bed time because a sleepy kiddo has a hard time brushing their teeth much less something more complicated lol.

  • Okay. That sounds like a good plan. She's capable enough to do that. I'm her mom. I'll help if she struggling. Bed time is a hassle for her already. I'm not sure how her friends will react to her wearing diapers.

  • Odds are unless she tells them they won’t know for a while. What is her school situation? I know most have a nurse but I don’t know the individual school policy on students with diapers. I would be curious to know what says as far as wanting them goes.

  • Coco's in the 7th Grade. She wears the kind of gym shorts that don't show her diapers too much. She has a nurse. She has changed her many times before. She does it before and after lunch. The nurse says if she wants them more than needs them, then she has more control then she let's on, and that we should try to either have coco herself change them or re-potty-train her.

  • Have you had a chance to talk to her directly about them? Something you may consider if you want to help her hide them would be onesies or adaptive clothing I think they are called. I agree with the nurse if she can control then she should be changing herself and just have the nurse check to make sure it’s on right at least for a while. Eventually she will be able to do it with our much thought.

  • Yes we have talked about it with her. We talked after the nurse said those thing I mentioned at home. Adaptive clothing you say? We could hide it with long or regular shorts worn on top over it.

  • They are basically big onesies. What did your daughter say when you asked her about the diapers?

  • She's thirteen; just remember that. We mentioned the re-potty-training and she got nervous and said "nnnnooooo!" We mentioned the second opinion, and she says, "I guess I could try."

  • Yeah my daughter is 13 as well. So I’m well versed in the drama. What brand do you use with her.

  • We uses Bambo dreamy, goodnighies, and sometimes abena and tranquility brands.

  • Yeah those are good brands regardless of age. Is it getting hard to read on your end? It’s almost a column on my side.

  • I guess it's a sign we've got to end the conversation here. It was nice talking to you. Take care now.

  • Turns out it was how I had my phone. If want we can of course end the conversation or chat more. Your call.

  • No thanks. I don't make friends online.

  • Does Coco have any friends? Do they know about this?

  • No they do not.

  • She's thinking about telling them though.

  • Interesting Story.

  • When I was in grade 12 (17yo) we had a set of exams that would determine if we would get a good enough score to get into university. In one of these exams my mind went blank. I could not do any of the questions. I had a panic attack. I felt like I was really going to wet myself which would have been just so embarrassing. I put my head down on the table and just tried to compose myself I did these long slow deep breaths. Eventually the panic passed and the feeling that I was about to wet myself subsided and I had a go at the exam.

    When I got home I told my mom about this. I said it had really scared me and I had wasted a lot of time that would have been better spent on the exam. She asked maybe I should wear a diaper and I said maybe. The discussion continued and we went to the supermarket and bought some pullups. I remember being totally self-conscious. But anyway, we brought them home and I went into my room to open the pack. In those days pullups had a plastic outer and when I put it on it crinkled a bit. I put my school uniform pants on and walked around. I was worried people would hear. I went and showed my mom and asked if she could see and hear. She suggested putting some undies over them and I went and tried that. We decided that with the noise would not be heard especially with the rest of the noise at school.

  • Continued. The next day I did not have an exam so I did not put on a pull up. When I was at breakfast my mom asked me if I was wearing and I said no. She said maybe I should so that I got used to it and not have it as a new worry at my next exam. So I went back to my bedroom and put one on. Felt really weird and worried that I would be found out but nothing happened.

    After school mom asked how it had gone and I said no one had said anything at school.

    So I wore it but took it off when I changed into my pyjamas. Then wore it again the next day.

    It was a few days before the next exam and I wore it each day and it just became what I did. But it also began to fall apart. I think the makers want to keep selling you new ones.

    The night before my next exam I was doing that last minute studying and suddenly felt panic again like there was a question I could not do. All the same feelings. Put my head down scared I would wet myself.

    Mom came into my room and saw me with my head down. She put her arm round me and we talked. She asked if I had wet myself and I said no. I said I was worried they would leak and so I had held off. She said that remember the reason is to make you secure so you have less worries. She said maybe you should try wetting so you know that if they leak. Just seemed so logical.

    I tried to wet myself but actually couldn't. I tried sitting and standing but just couldn't do it.

  • Continued.
    I tried pushing and relaxing and eventually the flow started. finally the diaper was wet.

    I stood up and felt around the back and where it met the top of my legs. Seemed OK. I sat back down and felt the squishy bulk. Stood up and felt again and I thought I could feel a bit of dampness at the top of the back of one leg.

    Went and saw mom. She asked how I had gone. I said I had had trouble but finally managed it. I told her about how I thought some had squished out when I sat back down. I turned around so she could see and she said you really had to look closely but yes part of my grey trousers did look darker but also shadows had a similar effect.

    I then took off the wet diaper and had a shower and went to bed. Next morning wore the diaper to school. Got into the exam room and could feel the panic attack coming on. This time I didn't try to resist it. I'd been to the toilet after I had gotten to school so my bladder was not as full as the test the night before. I just let it flow and I felt this feeling of relaxation and awakeness just wash over me. Relaxed. Clear head.

    Got home and mom asked and I explained how it had gone and spoke about how as I wet myself I had just felt so alert and like my mind opening up and able to do the exam.

    So for the next couple of weeks I wore them and used them a couple of times.

  • Continued.
    From then on, whenever I thought I would be in a stressful situation I would wear them. Not every day but pretty continuously. I actually became addicted in a way and felt somewhat concerned if I wasn't wearing them.

    So I have continued and as an adult I wear adult diapers full time. If I am confronted by a stressful situation I just wet myself and feel that feeling of clarity.

  • Wow. What a story. Glad you found clarity.

  • I started wearing plastic pants for the feel when I was 8.
    Fascinated with bed wetting from a young as I remember.
    Wished for a plastic mattress cover.
    Was worried pee would ruin the mattress so I started pouring some water from the glass beside my bed onto my pj pants so they were wet and the sheets just a little damp but not enough to go through to the mattress.
    Showed mom I'd had an accident. Had to do this many times before she got a plastic mattress protector and she got cotton diapers for me. Now I could wet. This was all pre puberty.
    Got kind of addicted.
    Decided I needed to stop but that actually was hard. I really liked the feeling of wetting. The secret naughtiness I think and then staying in the wet diaper. It felt secure.

  • Oh. I was the same way. Wearing a diaper and then pooping in it made me feel safe, like when I was a baby. It was secret. I got addicted too. I wet myself in front of my parents just to get to wear them during the daytime. My mom don't want me to ruin my good jeans.
    My mom was groaned about it. She changed my diaper because she said I took too long and didn't trust me. She even put me on the public changing tables just to embarrass me, but it didn't work. I loved her doing that. I tried not to show it.

  • I never pooped but mom was both supportive and practical. A un expected consequence was being asked to wear during the day if we were travelling and I might fall asleep.

    She never changed me. She'd occasionally if I was wet but usually it was left to me to manage. I do recall at one stage on a car trip saying could we find a gas station so I could go and mom saying just use your diaper and laughing. At the time I felt really dumb and cut. Looking back it's a weird kinky turn on.

  • It's a weird kink, but a fun weird kink.

  • Yes. It's weird, but not bad. I wear them. Do you still use diapers?

  • I've loved diapers all my life.

  • Me too. Did your mom give up on potty training you?

  • Definitely too permissive. It'll be tougher to deal with it now than when she was younger. Honestly, she (and maybe your whole family) needs professional therapy. Diaper wearing at that age is too abnormal not have an underlying issue(s).

  • Parent of Coco Again...

    Maybe your right. A therapist might just be what we need. We thought we'd deal with it ourselves before ask a professionals opinion.

  • Im 35 and i love diapers, maybe shes into the diaper thing like us abdl adults are. Its her way to cope with some type of trauma maybe. I wear every night i love the tightness that makes me feel safe and secure

  • I think I'll keep doing research.

  • Parent of Coco here...

    I'm not sure about any trauma. What might be your guess as to what the trauma is abou? I'm drawing a blank. I looked up what a ABDL is. It's an adult who roleplays as a baby or toddler? So my Coco is roelplaying?

  • Maybe shes just a diaper lover im an adult diaper lover some role play more some dont at all

  • Parent of Coco here...

    Okay. I'll let her keep the diapers, but the rest has to go. She is too old for this.

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