I'm in a sexless relationship. My fiancé has never been very sexual or interested in s**. He is kind to me and sweet, but not physical. He doesn't like to hold hands or kiss or have s**. At best, before we were engaged, we had s** monthly. It almost seemed like a chore to him. He is so good to me outside of this area. I've addressed it so many times that I've given up. After we got engaged, we stopped having s** all together. It has been a year. He says it's emotional and we've had some problems, so he's not into it. He reads playboy and says he masturbates. I've never seen him do that once in our relationship, though. I thought maybe he was cheating because I just can't understand, but he works from home and never travels for work, so I don't see how.
I'm depressed and sad and crying all the time. I've asked him if there is something wrong with me. He said no, he just has a low s** drive. I've moved into the other bedroom because I've started masturbating at night from lack of attention, and he started to roll over and turn the other way. I feel like some kind of monster! And we are both very physically fit, in our 30's, attractive, former college athletes. I don't understand. I've considered leaving him because I feel so sad, but then I could be with someone else who is sexual but we have a bad relationship??Everything else in our relationship is good. I hate myself now. I feel disgusting. I just want him to touch me and want me. He's made a few off the wall remarks about priests and growing up as an alter boy, and I asked him if something happened. He said I was sick for even suggesting that. I'm embarrassed I even said anything, but I couldn't figure out why he hates being physical. I'm at my wits end. Is this normal? Are some men just not that interested? I've tried lingerie, toys, going into the shower with him, starting to give him a bj and he's actually stopped me. Please tell me if this is psychological or physical or something I am doing???? I'm desperate.