I think I'm broken.
I love to be dominated in so many words. I started a few years back. Met a guy (a friend of a mutual friend) offered to take me home after a wild drunken night & he took advantage of me. I resisted at first. After a while of his hands everywhere, feeling helpless at his overbearing strength & size, I was actually getting aroused. Never been that turned on or even that satisfied ever.
I loved it. Almost addicted. Over a 3 month span, I was violated, fondled, & basically s**** almost everywhere. At school, home, work, back alleys, cars, & even in the halls of his apartment building. And I loved every second of it.
Unfortunately, it came to an heartbreak end, he just stopped. No texts, no calls, blocked me on everything. I guess I became too willing, too ready. I haven't heard from him since, only stories. I been in a few relationships since then, but it's not the same. I'm not satisfied. And I would talk to them about it, tried different things to help, but it's not the same. Not even close. He just had that sadistic, alpha male thing about him.
I'm currently in a 3 year relationship. I love him & the things he do. The s** life is average. Everything seemed to be going good. But part of me still waiting, still wanting for that old friend.