It bothers me sometimes

My husband and my best friend are close, They have been close since before I met either of them and she is the one who introduced us, I met her in college, She was a second year and I was a first year, Me and her hit it off the first night and stayed up talking (and maybe drinking a bit lol) until the sun came up, We were instant friends and have been every since.
I never met my husband until second year as he was working out of town, She was always talking to him and told always told me he was such a great guy, I always told her she should marry him but she said they went down that road and came to the realization that they were better friends than anything else.
I know that in her first year she met my husband and they didn't really date but as she put it were "friends with benefits" A LOT, Three to four times a week apparently, He came home a few times throughout my first year and I am pretty sure she would sneak off to see him after the bar or whatever when no one was looking for her, Then one night she invited me over to his house, She said "I want you to meet someone", I had a boyfriend at the time, Nothing serious just a few dates before that point, He greeted us at the door and I will admit that he caught my attention right away, He was tall, Well built, Shaved head, Blue eyes and very well mannered, Easy on the eyes to say the least, We ended up sitting and talking for a couple hours and the next day he called and asked me out, We went out and had a great time and had a few dates after that but the whole time I kept thinking that it couldn't go anywhere because him and my best friend were banging on the side which is why I didn't sleep with him for the first month.
Finally I sat down with my friend and we had "The talk", She told me they stopped after our first date and that she totally wanted me to go for him if I wanted to, the next time he called we went out and ended up back at his place and WOW, Yeah totally, She had hinted about his package but holy, I had no idea, To this day 10 years in it still catches me off guard when I see it in the light at full attention but we have a great relationship and a wonderful s** life, We have 2 amazing kids, A beautiful home, He has moved into the office at work and hasn't worked out of town for years now which is wonderful to have more family time but...
Every once in a while I get jealous, I manage to keep it under control but my best friend and I are polar opposites physically except our height, We are both "short" but she is a bit thicker than me and has humongous b****, I have always been small chested and since having 2 kids they aren't even what they used to be, I am embarrassed to be topless but he always wants me to be, He says he loves my body and all he ever wants is the lights on or to lay naked together and touch me which I am not comfortable with, I thank good genes for the fact I don't have one stretch mark but am still not happy naked, My best friend on the other hand has had 1 kid and looks the same as she did in college, Never gained any more weight and her b**** are nothing short of amazing, They have always been what I would think guy would fantasize about and she is not shy about showing them off in low cut tops or walking around braless in front of me or him, I know he has seen them lots but it still bothers me when I am so concerned about mine.
I don't think he would ever cheat and I am positive she wouldn't but I still don't like that he sees hers when she is in a bikini which never seems to keep them contained or when we get ready to go out she has no problem walking around braless before getting dressed, When she stays over she doesn't put on a bra until late morning or after lunch if we are laying around recovering from the night before and when drunk she is not shy about flashing them.
I don't want to be the crazy wife who tells her friend to wear a bra around her husband who I have never even caught taking a peek but it is so obvious she has no bra on that all he would have to do is look in her general direction, I don't know if it is my current feelings about my body or knowing they used to be together that bothers me more but its turning me into a crazy person.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do?


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  • Your story made me hard. Drunk women turn me on bigtime! I'd love to get you drunk and pound you till you couldn't c** anymore!

  • The problem is with you. Nothing has changed on their side except for the end of s** when you and your husband got together. You are the one who has changed. If you don't like your body, then go to the gym and change it. Either way, stop looking for issues with your husband and friend or you will drive them together.

  • Ok. This is why you don't go behind your friends or family! This is why! I don't date nor mary anyone who has dated a friend or family. But you did! So here is the deal. He says he likes your body but you don't even like him to touch it. If I were you, I'd let him touch it before he doesn't want to touch it. Next he is a man and at some point he is going to want those big t*** that she is flaunting in front of him to get attention. She does this because you allow it! It's inappropriate and you know it but you don't have the b**** to put an end to it because it's more important for you to be friendly than correct! Set some guide lines with your friend, she will respect you in the long run. It's your house! Wake up! If it makes you uncomfortable than it's inappropriate and at the end of the day, he is a man. She wants and still needs to know that she can get his attention and one day it will develop into more. Stop kidding yourself.

    If you can't do this than have an open relationship because I'm telling you, it's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when! Lastly, if you don't like your body, change it. Work out and start feeling better about yourself. Men are attracted to woman who have self confidence but are not stuck up. Change what you can naturally. Now I'm done any more advice and I'm going to have to charge you!

  • First of all, I didn't say I don't like being touched, I said I don't like being naked with the lights on, that is not uncommon, Most girls are not comfortable being ogled with the lights on and most girls in general have at least one part of their body they are unhappy with especially after having kids, We have s** more than any of my other friends do and as far as her flaunting her body she always has, That's just her personality and it is not going to change no matter what I say to her, If you think no one has ever said anything you would be wrong.
    Obviously a guys response with the "Open relationship" comment, Yeah...That happens in real life...Right.

  • You should use the fact that your husband wants to see you naked to get over your insecurities about your body. He loves you and your body just the way you are, I would be more worried if he suggests keeping the lights off or if the s** drops off. You have to remember he asked you to be his wife not her so obviously he wanted you. If it is bothering you that much distance yourself from her for a while until you get your feelings under control.

  • Oh and the open relationship comment , that life style is usually agreed upon before the marriage . When its suggested years into the marriage , the marriage is most likely in trouble.

  • All I can say after perusing your post is... Use a period once in a while. All those commas make you seem a bit long-winded.

  • Not wearing a bra is no big deal. Your hubby has obviously seen her rack plenty, if they were previously friends with benefits. Of course he looks at her. He's a guy.

    You sound like you trust him as well as your friend; perhaps your problem is that your are insecure about your own looks. Get over the fact that she has nicer t***.

  • Wow! This is all in your head, your husband is in love with you and your body . If he wanted your friend he would still be with her. You need to get your insecurities under control before you ruin your friendship with her or your marriage with him. News flash, not every man craves big b**** , lots of men like small b**** too.

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