Death of someone special
Its been over a year since he died and I have only been able to really talk about it and cry now. I did love him a lot but he didn't love me and that is ok. I never meant harm to him that is for sure. I just was a very confused f***** up person with a lot of problems that no one was helping properly. I miss him. I am sure I will miss him more over time, to be honest like other people. I keep hope however, I feel sad a lot about it all. all the fear and the questions I had about 2013 and what was going on that people were not telling me. Its like I did something wrong being honest about being abused and that is not fair. I needed to tell my side of the story and still no one is caring enough to take me into their heart and world and it really hurts. so I am a bit over weight but want to change. I had to put up with less then perfect fat loud pushy men and fat bullying despot s** pot dingleberry kellydogboots who wanted roots from men not even in her equals and yet no one sees me as worthy of quality, so why can't people put up with me. It really has hurt me losing so many peoples love over nothing. I still don't know how bethy could do that to me? he just can't be a normal man. he must have a unrealistic hate for me and I think I should stay away from him as he could be a lew trying to fool me. he has never shown love or like for me ever.