Dear Mom...

I'm sorry for all the people that have hurt you in the past. I'm sorry that you feel ignored by your family. I'm sorry you don't have many friends. I'm sorry you had breast cancer. I'm sorry that you don't like your job. I'm sorry that my sister and I don't always do what you ask.

But when you ignore me; when you call me stupid; when you yell for no reason; when you threaten me; when you guilt-trip me; when you invalidate my feelings; when you don't listen to me; when you blame me for all your problems; when you don't let me see my friends; when you push me over the edge, I start to get less sympathetic, and more hopeful for when I can finally move out.

I envy girls who have good relationships with their mothers. I wish I could have that.


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  • I wish you could have the kind of relationship you would like with your mom too. Have you actually ever told your mom these things that you have written here? Even though she's your mom, she's still human and makes mistakes. Not everyone does the "right" thing. She's not a mind reader she may need more help in certain areas. Maybe you can give her some help and let her know what you need from her. It will take time, but the more you talk about things and figure out different ways to approach the same situation things could improve and you both could be happier. It may worth a try. All friendships and relationships require work and effort. You sound incredibly smart and insightful, maybe even bring your sister into it as well so the three of you can work together.

  • I've told her--I've told her an embarrassing amount of times, but she doesn't listen. It doesn't matter what me or my sister say. If it's not what she wants to hear, she explodes. It usually ends with me or my sister locking ourselves in our rooms and crying.

  • I empathize, OP. And now my mom has been gone for 10 years. I'm glad she's not suffering or unhappy anymore, but I can't really say I miss her.

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