Unexpected benifits

My wife lost interest in me. The marriage was cold. She was busy all the time and always claiming too tired for s** or even kissing and hugging. I felt lonely and became depressed. I wondered what was wrong with me that she did not love me. I felt trapped because we had kids and I felt a duty to give them two parents.

Then I met a girl and we started to have an affair. It was enlightening. I felt I was living life again. I no longer felt inadequate, inhuman, smelly, depressed. I made up my mind that if my wife asked I would just say "yes I'm having an affair" and also I made up my mind that if she wanted to separate then I would. I no longer felt I needed to stay.

Weird thing is she's become more affectionate.

Leaves me in a dilemma. Do I drop my lover and try to love my wife again even though being with my lover is much more exciting. Do I keep the status quo. Do I ditch the wife and make a life with my lover.

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  • The reason your, haha, "marriage" improved is because you stopped being a sloppy nasty shadow of yourself due to having that affair. While things are looking up for you and only you, you are also living even more of a lie before you went hunting for strange. Do you feel good about that, "dutiful daddy?" Better believe those kids you just had to have are picking up on how to be both sneaky and depressed just like daddy. So have fun continuing to make a s**t sandwich out of everyone's lives, and don't bother whining when it comes back to you in some weird unforeseen way. Bye now.

  • You've already cheated on your spouse, the damage of marital betrayal is done. You shouldn't use cheating as an excuse or justify it by complaining of being unhappy in your marriage. You chose to cheat, when you could've discussed your feelings with your wife like an adult and tried to resolve matters, perhaps with marriage counselling. If all else fails after trying to mend your marriage, then you separate. You don't cheat, it's cowardly and disrespectful to your marriage
    vows.

  • So you fell in love with your sister when your Mom stopped putting out. It is a dilemma but at least you're keeping it in the family.

  • Well hello sir, I'll have you know that your not alone ... I'm in the same boat as you & the way I handle it is by reminding myself that life is way too short and that we must learn to enjoy spending time with our family and enjoy our time with friends .. sure my marriage is h*** but then I'll go out & enjoy a slice of heaven .. so don't be torn apart by any dilemas because if you try picking one over the other then it comes back to you .. i mean, your lover may drop you for someone then that leaves you crawling back & apologizing to the wife & all that other drama ... my suggestion to you is stay with the wife (i know, damn it huh?) yet keep your gf in the dark because I find it ridiculous that the only outlet a married man has when he feels he needs a break is to go hang out with the guys .. f*** that we should be able to go out to see
    our sexxy ass girlfriends/lovers .. So like I said just go about the normal way of dealing with the wife yet don't be afraid to go out & have a good time with the lover .. the motto is life is too short enjoy your time with family but don't forget to have a good time with your friends as well .. hope this made sense ..

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