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I want to be **

I’m an 18 year old gay male, I’m not horrible looking and often have many females asking me to go on dates with them, but I live in a small town so gay men are shunned and harassed by locals, enough so that we’re either all hiding, or I’m the only one. But further in the city there is a gay bar that I sneak off to, I stay there as long as I can and drink everything anyone buys me hoping they drug me and ** me and leave me covered in ** and unconscious. I know it’s not normal, and I hate that I feel that way, but all I want is to be treated like property to stronger men. Does that make me a bad person?

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    • You don't want **. Nobody wants **. You want to be/feel used you want to be manhandled and humiliation, but it seems like you would be willing.

    • I guess, but ** doesn’t sound bad

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