Inove but not with my kids father

I always seem to think about this person when we were young I knew he had strong feelings for me we separated but he was always on my mind always I was in a relationship with someone through it 6/7 years later we saw each other met up and had ** (I was on a brake with the other guy) after that we never talk if it was bad or what happened im clueless I always loved him even though we had been through a lot when we got back (the other guy) knew about him and told his friends about him I think they tripped him out of course I told him what happed we stayed together i don't know why I stayed or went back he is super verbally abusive to me I had kids but at the end of it all I know I don't love him i love the other guy I know he's a player and this and that he's a bad boy but I could forgive him for anything and everything I know I will forever love him no matter what and that ** I don't know if he ever even cared or felt like I did I always felt comfortable around him we always played and joked he always kept a smile on my face was always the sweetest person to me it just hurts I will never know his feeling I remember seeing him again and we smiled at each other and just hugged for a long time or when I told him I love you and he told me he loved me I miss being lost in love

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