Married life is difficult

My wife and I have had some rough road on our marriage journey. We have only been married 4.5 years and it’s been difficult at times. My wife has never had a problem trusting me until she found p*** on my phone and I lied to her about It. This was 4 years ago. Ever since that day, things felt like the end of the world. About 6-8 months later, I got emotionally interested in another woman and lied to her about that as well when she found out. She then found more p*** on my phone maybe 9 months after the emotional episode. But this time, I was honest about it and told her I was looking at it again. I hadn’t looked at p*** since then and that was 3 years ago. Fast forward to last week, I was so f****** h**** and it was like I couldn’t help myself. My wife has sent me naked pictures of herself so I can m*********. I love her pictures and I love j********** to them. But I just got this urge. And so i jacked off to some p***. Then this evening, we were having a rough day to begin with. Her and I had an attitude with each other all day. I sat down at the table while she was in the kitchen making dinner. And looked at me dead in the face and said “ I don’t trust you” and I just looked at her and was said “whoa! Where did that come from” she then goes on to say that I have been treating her mean today, I’ve been telling my dad about my marriage(bc she looked at my messages with my dad on my phone), and she is low key accusing me of looking at p*** again bc she found emails in my spam folder of p*** things(I don’t really know what she saw) but she asked me again if I had watched it and I said yes. I watched some about a week ago. And then she just went silent.

So I’ve written all of that to say that I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is the last straw for her. Our s** life is pretty terrible. She doesn’t care about s** and I’m h**** all the time(that’s what she says)
I understand that my wife doesn’t like it when I look at p***. I did make a choice to watch it even though I know it disrespected her feelings about it. I don’t know why I am even writing this. I just want s**. I want sexual intimacy with her. And she just won’t give it to me. And she is horrible at foreplay. She never comes on to me or anything like that. thanks for reading this. Sorry it was so long.

Jan 17, 2020

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  • I absolutely feel your pain! And I’ve only been married a year. I personally don’t know what hornets nest I kicked to endure what I been having to deal with. She doesn’t trust me or really gives me credit for anything good I do. Before I met her I was single with no kids, so I had my fun and enjoyed my life. I gave all of the fun up to settle down to be happy. She became so controlling and absolutely nuts. We all deal with the loss of a family member in our on way, because I became quiet about it. She felt I must have been talking to someone else on my Instagram. So she hacked into my account and found nothing , so she resulted in cutting herself... said because of not finding anything her anxiety got the best of her. Foreplay and oral is just meh. I crave those things and she wants to just skip by it. Despite the fact I’m always ready to give it to her I really don’t get anything in return besides her telling me she doesn’t trust me.

  • There are a lot of men Who hear the pain in your writings
    just hang in there explain how you feel. Don't feel like a Criminal for watching p***. if she doesn't except it, maybe she doesn't love you the Same way you love her. bring it to a head she either loves you unconditionally or not at all there is no in between

  • She sends you nude photos of herself so that means she’s also hòrny. She’s probably getting it on the side but she just doesn’t like the way you fukher.
    Show the photos to a stud or two at work and see if they would show you how to do her properly. Take one or both of them home and give her a Happy Birthday surprise.
    Happy Friday Night or whatever occasion you want to call it. Watch and learn.

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