idk why i do this.
...im going behind my bfs back and seeing my ex. who cheated on me neumorous times. he made me cry so much and hurt me so bad but somehow i forgot about it all. seeing him makes me feel bad, which makes me feel so good. i dont kiss him or have s** with him, i barely even touch him. its just nice to talk him fro some reason. if my current bf ever found out that would be the end of our relationship. but the funny thing is that he will never know. i will never get caught, which is another thing that makes me feel so good.
...besides that im always thinking about having a relationship with my childhood friend. whenever i see him i feel like a little girl again, its so sad. i want to be with him so bad. we have talked about it but hes not ready for a relationship right not. with anyone else or with me. and the anticipation kills me, because i feel like ill always be waiting. but what if it never happens?
...i feel like my family thinks its ok not to tell me anything, which has really been getting to me lately. for this reason i feel like they dont deserve to know things about me. therefore none of them have met my bf yet. i do this with every relationship i have. it probably sounds messed up, and by bf really wants to meet them. i really dont give a s***.