Regrettable lockdown ** with brother

I am so glad I have found this site, as I feel like I have to tell someone what happened, but I dare not speak of it.
My name is Poppy, I am 19 and until they sent us all home I was at university. My brother 22, got furloughed, couldn't pay rent and so was also back at our parents house. It was like being 15 again, living at home, but not able to go out.
We live in an old farm house and because of its age I have to go through my brother's room to mine, and the other way to the bathroom etc, there is no privacy.
One night after our parents had gone to bed, I passed through my brother's room and he was awake, we started chatting, and I sat on his bed.
Conversation ran to relationships and then to **, we had both left kinda relationships behind. We joked about lack of **, and then lack of privacy, which turned in to inability to **. Obviously he had not been able to incase I came in. I suggested we should just agree a time that was ** time and we shouldn't disturb each other. Next morning after the first time, he asked me if I had, and I nodded, I asked if he did and he nodded too. We had a system!
A couple of nights on, and when the question came up again, I asked, he nodded, and then said I know you did. I asked how and he said he could hear me, then he joked that it had helped him, I called him a pervert and gave him a shove. Next night, it was that time, he said to me, you can leave the door open if you like, I was quite shocked. I asked if he meant to listen or watch, to which he replied whichever is on offer. I was like OMG we may as well be doing it together. I was joking, but he said I'm up for that.
I walked in to my room and left the door open, I got in to bed and slipped my hand in to my PJs, seconds later he appeared at the door. I shut my eyes and carried on. Then I hear his voice right next to me, asking, can I get in bed. I nodded and in he got. He was dressed but clearly hard. I could hear him removing clothes and then he started. I pulled the sheets down telling him I did not want ** on the bed. This exposed his ** and I couldn't look away. My wrist was getting tired, fighting the elastic of my PJs waistband, so I pulled them down exposing myself, much to my brother's delight.
He asked if he could have a go as he put it, and as I seem to ** best when I am relaxed and I felt on edge I thought it would help both of us.
I closed my eyes and it felt great to be touched, but the feeling faded. In my head all I could think was this is nearly as bad as **, so my next thought was, ** it.
I pulled his hand away and got on all fours with my PJs and underwear by my knees and said, get on with it before I change my mind. He checked I was on the pill and then knelt up behind me and entered me.
Straight away that felt better, that was the feeling I had missed, feeling filled with hot **.
Instantly I felt the feeling build and then spill out in to **, it was all very quick. I think the sound and feeling of me ** made my brother ** too, barely was my ** fading when I felt this hot rush inside me. The whole thing lasted about 30 seconds, the actual ** part.
He got tissues for both of us, he wiped his ** and I wiped up his ** as is ran out of me, we really didn't want ** on our parents sheets, how would we explain it. We were totally fine afterwards and spooned in bed together till we fell asleep. When I woke up he was gone and I was left with regret at what I had done, and how it had happened.

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