Confused about my .... se*ual preference
I am a married man in late 30's. My wonderful wife and my toddler are truly the love of my life. But... i have this bizarre crave for adventure in s**. I find it satisfying when i go online (omegle, chaturbate) and expose myself with face covered. I have increased interest in trying different s** toys. I try to walk naked by the window/garden or terrace hoping my neighbors would see me. I spend a lot of time searching p*** which involves "BBW, caught masterbating, c****** compilation, glory hole, cute trans etc".
I'm straight and i don't find gay p*** attractive but strangely i find some selective/feminine trans vids satisfying. This creeps me out. Am i Bi? On my last visit to my physio therapists (one time female & other time male) i was secretly over exposing and was longing for them just to touch my private parts. I know it is wrong and i feel a bit guilty but i just coulnd't control the urge to be touched/seen naked by strangers.
I neither did nor planning to do anything that will spoil my marriage but this unsatisfied feel for s** distracts me at work/home and makes me waste my time. My wife doesn't know everything but just a few of my strange interests. She feels it is selfish to m********* alone and s** life should be in a 'subtle' style. I am thankful that she tried a couple of online exposure with me but that and missionary style alone is not enough for me.
I am not trying to be greedy but its just comes natural for me and i feel a huge emptiness inside me when i don't get a s** partner with similar interests. Feels Like wandering aimlessly on road. Whenever i was able to go online or beat it off after a long session i dont think abt s** for atleast a week.
Anyone had similar issues and came out if it? Id my orientation changing? I am confused.