Samantha I miss you!

Samantha, I miss you. I dreamed about you last night. It was a good dream. It's been 8 years since I last saw you but I've never forgotten you. I;m now married, and in three weeks I'll be a father of a little girl. I'm naming her Samantha, partly after you.

It was so much easier to break up with you than to keep it going because of the controversy around us at the time, but I often imagine my life had I stuck with you. Those aren't bad thoughts.

Every now and then I think about you, and I really, really miss you. I'm happy in my marriage, but I miss your company. I miss you as a friend - and today, I just really want to sit and chat with you like we used to in your garden.

I'm sure you've moved on, maybe married. I hope you're happy. I hope you're being looked after a lot more than you are looking after others. I hope you know how much you meant to me when we were together. I would have never survived if it were not for your love. You helped me though the hardest part of my life.

Every time I go down to Durban I look back at the house where you used to stay as I go over the hill, and wonder what you are doing. I've still got the phone number for that house, or what it was 8 years ago. This morning I almost phoned it, but I realised you'd probably be at work, even if you were still staying there.

I hope you can believe me now - I did love you, and I still do.

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