Husband says I'm too fat to ** - gained 20 pounds in 20 years

My husband and I have had ** only 2-3 times a year for the last 7-10 years. I've asked him why a million times as I'm a very sexual person who needs a LOT more than that. He got drunk one night and said he couldn't bare to look at me because "I ate myself and got so fat these last 10 years". I've gained about a pound a year since we got married. These last 10 years, I've worked a ton to pay all our bills and put his ** through college and grad school (while he didn't work) and have been raising our daughter full time. I feel like if my weight gain was so important to him, he should've stepped up and given me some time to myself to exercise. I hate him and don't want him ever touching me again. I'm considering finding someone else to ** on the side and divorcing him when the time is right for me. The weight thing is extra weird because he's an alcoholic who has gained at least 50 pounds and is super lazy. I don't know why I've put up with him these last 10 years, except I want him to get a good job and be able to provide an inheritance for our daughter after we die.

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