Longtime Crush

I developed a crush on one of my husband's friends more than a decade ago. I met him and his wife at a family bbq. I thought they were an attractive couple & nothing beyond that in the beginning. Then we all had a dinner together, our kids in tow (they had none). Months later there was another family bbq. I was tending to the kids, and husband's friend was the only person who approached me to talk. (Kids all around, nothing inappropriate.) That was the first time I suspected that maybe he had a crush on me. And it was the first time that I felt a spark of anything for him. I appreciated him talking to me when no one else did. This pattern continued over the years. There would be some group party and he always made it a point to talk to me one-on-one, no matter where we were. Again, nothing was ever inappropriate, but the last few years I noticed he would get goosebumps while talking to me. 😊 He'd start rubbing his arms to try to make them go away, which made them more obvious. Once it even happened in front of my husband. But he moved away. It's been years since I've seen him. I miss him so much. It was like a decade long high school crush that never went anywhere because we're both too decent to cheat. No one in my life wants to hear my story because both of us are married. No, I am not happily married. But that's my husband's fault. I have told him so many times how unhappy I am, but he doesn't care. So I have this crush to occupy my mind since I have a husband who doesn't give a **. Once my kids are grown, I hope I can move on and find a real person who isn't married to fill the void. Until then, please just let me have my crush.

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