I'm learning a lot about myself at this stage in my life

As an older and wiser 55 year old I know there are all kinds out there. I led a mostly quite life, married, with family. My fantasies lived through fiction. It wasn't until I was in my mid forties that I dared buy a ** online and eventually some other toys for my pleasure. I started watching videos, always focused on the man and disregarding the woman.

But one day I focused on the woman and asked myself, how must it feel for some guy to ** you for money? It can't really be love making, in a way it must not be too different than using a **. It was then that I took the leap and placed a profile on a dating sight for older couples and I got a hit a couple of days later. A man wanted to trade pictures before meeting. I said ok, and sent a couple of pictures and he said I was his kind of woman.

I answered that I was ok with meeting him but he should know that I never met a man who didn't pay his way. He asked how much and I told him 150 and he agreed and we met at a lounge where we both could be anonymous and went to a motel and after putting the money on the dresser we went on to have **. It was ** for money, so I let him earn his fee, it was like an out of body experience.

I was successful in getting men to pay and I never met unless the man paid. One man, his name is irrelevant, told me that he had a friend who made videos and I fit the bill of some of the videos he was making of grown women who liked **. I met him and agreed to 'act' for him, for so much a video, and went into business. The actors were recognizable for their ** and the other women actors for the size of their **. There were four or five people in the room, camera, lighting and directing. And make up, not do much of your face, make up of your ** and ** and ** lips.

I kept it third party, for the money and I acted my part. ** was always out of body and whether it was a man or woman I didn't care. I could lick ** as easily as I could ** a **. Until one day, I just decided that it was enough, I quit cold turkey and went back to being a grandma and taking care of my house. A year long experiment with ** for money. Nice, the money isn't anything to take seriously, the ** is false and nothing more than a form of masturbation under the lights. I did learn to appreciate a woman, to lick her and let her lick me.

My next experience will be with another woman, not for money, a woman who wants to make love and be secure in a woman's arms. I can play the part, I'm sure about that. What are lesbians like?