I talk to myself sometimes

I talk to myself sometimes. Out loud. Sometimes I'll get really heated and go off a little, but it has gotten a lot better than how I used to be. I used to hallucinate, but it was a temporary state of shock because I was being abused at the time. I would talk to myself to sort out reality because I couldn't think things through in my head, and no one would listen to me. Now, I still do it from time to time, to sort through my thoughts and it's a bit relaxing. But sometimes I think about really stressful things, and I'll end up sounding angry and even swearing.

The embarrassing thing is, my SO hears me talking to myself sometimes. He knows I talk to myself, but it's embarrassing when he hears me. I feel like it looks like a crazy person from the outside perspective.

Talking to myself has helped me in the past, but I think I don't want to rely on it anymore. I'm not sure how to fix it though.

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