When I first learned to tie my shoes
When I first learned to tie my shoes (kindergarten or first grade--the normal age) my mother was very impatient when I didn't get it right away. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I remember crying because she was going too fast and I just couldn't follow. Instead of slowing down and explaining, she kept bullying me, and the image I carry with me is her leaning into me with a mad expression and staring me in the face and saying, "TRY!"
I've always done well in school and thought of myself as a smart person. Now I have a job where I have to pay attention to details and think more on the spot. And if someone disagrees with me about a fact (day, date, etc.) I freeze and go back to that powerless space. It's like I don't know how to defend myself in that way, because I was victimized on that day. And I worry that people will think I'm stupid. I've never worried that in my life before this job.