What do you do when you don't want to live but you don't want to die either? I've been unhappy most of my life. I've tried to kill myself twice. I think about killing myself almost everyday. I hate myself and my life so much, but I'm stuck because I know I'll never be able to bite the bullet and just end my life because if I did, it would destroy my family. They're the only reason I hold on, as miserable as my life is. They don't know it but they save my life everyday.