im in a circle of heartbreak and its my fault
im fully aware that it is partly my fault, simply bcz she used me in a total cold hearted attempt, yes cold hearted that what it is, and we all no it.
i dont want to have ago, your an attentsion seeker and its what you want, but how am i surposed to get this off my f****** chest! i dont want to say this to anyone, bcz i dont think you can totally understand unless your in the exact posision, but thats what its like for everyone when they have a problem, talking about problems im pritty sure you have one, its called not having manners or the ability to care about anyone but yourself, trust me that problem is big and will probably become bigger as you grow up, is thatl ever happen, doutful.
i just wish hed atleast of said somthing, i meen yes it was obvious i was just to stupid to realise and to wrapped up in my feelings to want to know, untill it was too late. worst part is, he wont leave me alone, acting like my friend, no, im not your friend, its not how it works, and it will never work that way :/ i cba to moan outloud bcz ill simply go back to somthing thats long behind me and please god i hope it stays that way!
you talk to me liek im a child, she is a child and you treat her with b***** respect wtf! unless your just some kind of kiddyfiddler, which out be nice bcz then id be able to just forget this whole thing and laugh at her misfortune :)
worst part is, i had one of my recent exs round my house, i dont even think i have feelings for him but i keep making myself think about him so i dont have to think about you! and now i dont no whats real and whats not!
iv bin in love with my frist love for a good 2 years now, and i WONT go back to him he hurt me to much :'( you were surposed to be the one who cared YOU were surposed to save me from this stupid f****** cirle but you didnt, you went for her, the 'oh im gay, now im bi, now im strait' attension seeking freak!
yes insulting her makes me feel beter, i have no problem with that, i need everything i can get.
i just wish, i could find 'him' :( i miss talking to you and smiling all teh way through our convo without knowing, i miss you heckling me about my habbits, and i miss me laughing at you everytime you said somthing totally blond.
but i dont think i miss YOU at all, i miss what we had, that hope that i felt that the guy who used me, knowing that i love him, the guy who tret me like s*** and still didnt care, hope that he couldnt get to me anymore, but now i feel the most vaunrable person of all
your with her, your happy,
worst part is, i want you dead, i want them all dead.
what do i do now?
my eyes string from crying, i wish i was someone else :/