More of my poetry

mabye jesus is with us now\nmaybe farting is good for the soul\nmaybe locusts say cool man wow\nmaybe i ate some coal\n\nwacky zacky macky lacky \nmommmmmmmmy yay look at me\n\nsometimes i eat dirt\nsometimes i see spaceships\nsometimes babies flirt\nsometimes i punch potato chips\n\nwacka lacka doo loo \nyeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh\n\nsay my name say my name\nwhen noone is around you\nsay baby i love you\nno more running games\n\nim a princess with a p****\nim a man with goop\ni like water in my armpits\nvacccccuuuuuuuuummmmssss\nwooop de wooop yea yea yea\n\npancakes\n\n\n\n\nwhat did you think?



  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • The first stanza is all tangled up in religion. The narrator is struggling with belief which is made obvious by use of the word \\"maybe.\\" The intentional use of locusts in this verse is a biblical reference: \\"The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands\\" (Prov 30:27). The last line regarding the eating of coal refers to the eating of charcoal to eliminate the poison of religion that has been forced upon the narrator. Charcoal is commonly administered to an individual who has been poisoned. It is a natural neutralizer.

    The refrain that follows is a plea for acceptance from a parent. It's an admission to the narrator's mother that the narrator is aware that their beliefs conflict with that of their mother's, but still wishes to be accepted and even feel the need to gloat to the mother figure.

    The second verse deals with consumption based on marketing and how one reacts to such marketing. Eating dirt refers to the eating of food that isn't fit for human consumption. The following two lines reference the absurdity of marketing, the spaceships and babies used in marketing campaigns to appeal to both genders when trying to sell the dirt that they call food. The last line about punching potato chips is a release of anger against these corporations who market this junk food, but also addresses the issue of a need to lose weight which is only an idea brought about by the same marketing executives who are selling the junk food.

    The next refrain varies slightly from the first and introduces a sense of confidence in the narrator. No longer feeling any need to gloat and also no longer asking for acceptance.

    The third stanza is by far my favorite. This is when the narrator steps into the spotlight, sure and confident, and reveals their deepest desire, no longer hiding behind a construction of ideals. The narrator flat out tells you to \\"say my name, say my name.\\" No more hiding behind the doubts of \\"maybe\\" or \\"sometimes,\\" each line of this stanza gives an order or a command. \\"When no one is around you, say baby I love you.\\" Trying to force their true love to be as open and honest as the narrator is being at this point. \\"No more running games\\" is the final line of this stanza which suggests that the narrator, who once felt deceived or uncommitted, is now confessing that they are ready to stay put and settle down. This particular stanza is a turning point where the narrator finds their true love, settles down, but eventually is destined to become that same parent figure that they were rebelling against.

    The fourth and final stanza holds true to the tone of the third by keeping their confidence in the foreground. This time though, they attempt to warp reality. This is a test for the love that they succeeded in winning over in the previous stanza. The narrator here bends genders (princess with p**** and man with goop.) Princess with p**** is self explanatory, but a man with goop refers to a v*****. Goop being a slang word for wet or moist v*****. The \\"I like water in my armpits\\" references a universal body part shared by a man and a woman. This is used as a neutral reference to both genders to tie up the gender identity issue. The final lines of this stanza reveal another scene of domesticity that was hinted at in the previous stanza. The declaration of love for a vacuum cleaner shows again that the narrator is ready to settle down and keep house. This is only further exemplified by the final thought of this most brilliant poem: \\"pancakes.\\" In my opinion the narrator could not have picked a better word to sum up their thoughts on the critique of an all American housewife, fixing pancakes for the family on Sunday morning.

    mmmmm pancakes indeed

  • I liked the part about flirting babies and punching potato chips.
    mmmmm pancakes.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?