Domestic violence is impossible

I'm seriously sitting here rolling my eyes, shaking my head and laughing out loud. Like the other commenter said, you need to get out of your mom's basement, take a shower and start becoming an adult.

Correct

The reason you have to say “if” is because you’re actually alone.. no surprise why

I require my wife to have s**. I just say on your back legs apart

We were driving today and I said to her that I would like to spank her. After some discussion, we agreed that she would let me.

Later today as a part of foreplay she lay across my lap in the bedroom. It was actually quite awkward as I had never put someone in that position before and probably had not thought through the practicalities too well. I also probably spanked her too hard to start with and she reacted quite negatively. I suspect that if I had been very gentle. Just patting, I could have gotten her used to the idea with out the pain first.

Only if the wife shares the same delusion you do

Caveman !
And no, I'm not a bird.I'm a bloke.

Sweetieeeee! Your hot pockets are ready! Come up out of the basement!

Lmao this the type dude to p*** in empty mnt dew bottles, b**** prolly smells like new ports and his moms titty milk

Cynthia your a tremendous idiot

Dylan, stop eating rocks