My best friend.
I'm starting to hate my bestfriend. She is the most self-centered person I have ever met, and she talks about her kind-of boyfriend non-stop. I love her, we've known eachother since we were kids but I wish she would atleast try and give a s*** about other people, besides mm..lets call him "Jake". She cheated on Jake (even though they're not dating, well they pretty much are just without the title but still) and Jake found out due to one of our other friends blabbing to him, So my bestfrind.. lets call her "Cynthia" went to our other friend and told her how worthless, mean, etc. that she was. And the girl who told replied telling Cynthia about how self-absorbed, outright mean, uncaring for anyone but yourself, blah, blah, blah. and this entire time Cynthia was telling me about how much of a b**** this person was and just saying some really nasty and hurtful things about one of her former best friends. and I was sitting there thinking "too bad everything she's saying is true."
You have to understand that Cynthia is the kind of person that constantly needs to be talked to and comforted when she is upset, angry, and bad emotion, but will never/rarely be there for someone else. You can tell her that you are upset.. tell her the reason why and what happened and she'll be like "oh, that sucks.." maybe some random comment about it. then she'll go into telling you about what she's doing later that day like what happened to you doesn't matter at all. which I understand that alot of the time it doesn't, but friends are supposed to be there for you, and she never is. and she always expects you to be there for her whenever she needs you. We could sit on the phone and talk for hours about the problems in her life (which I might add are slim to none)
She always complains about how bad her life is and how much she hates it, but in reality she has a very good life.
Her parents and her don't get along.
She manipulates them to get what she want and treats them like s***. So this shouldn't surprise anybody.
Jake won't commit to dating her again, they always have problems because he smokes&drinks and she hates it, even though she's an avid pill popper and she smokes pot whenever she can gets her hands on it and parties whenever she has the chance. She's cheated on Jake because he told her that he didn't want a girlfriend. and I don't understand why she won't just shut him out of her life completely, I really wish she would do this so I wouldn't have to hear about it.
She treats her friends like s*** (excluding me besided the whole not caring thing) and constantly lies to them about anything she doesn't want other people to know (even though she lives in a small town and everyone knows everything about everyone) so they in turn don't trust her, and i'm left there defending her and lieing for her when I shouldn't have too.
So yes, her life is f****** terrible, everything is wrong.
I moved away, pretty much cut off all contact with my friends and the outside world except her and one other person. I'm severely depressed, have stupidly cut myself and overdosed in an attempt to die. I smoke cigarettes to get closer to death, and she acts as if nothing about this matters. I will say that I haven't told her that half of any of this in fear that she just won't give a s***. My life revolves around her 24/7 and i'm so sick of it.
I want to tell her how bad of a person she is and to get the f*** out of my life, but I can't because she pretty much is my only social interaction.
I can't help this growing animosity towards her. I'm really starting to hate this person she's become. I wish she would just realize by not being there for me she is hurting me more that she ever could by telling me mean things. She just doesn't get that other people have feelings and emotions that she should care about. How can I feel like she's really my friend when she never asks me how I am, never acts like she cares. She only wants me around because i'm there for her, i'm always no matter what there for her. but she can't and never will be for me.
I need to find the strength to drop her like she did me when I only f****** talked to Jake. I need to be that cold-hearted un-caring person and maybe she'll realize how terrible a person she's become. But that will never happen because she's all I have left.
But I say when I move back home and have a life again, she'll be gone with one short phone call.
"Hey Cynthia, you've been a terrible friend, and I don't want anything to do with you anymore, unless you change vastly, which is most likely not going to happen anytime soon, which is why i'm calling you to tell you this. You talk so much about how your life is horrible and that everyone that wrongs you in any slight way is such a complete f***-up. Which is wrong, because if anyones a f***-up, I think that's gotta be you. I love you, and I wish that things were different, but they're not. So I really advise that you take a good long look at who you really are and how you treat others before you go off and tell other people how horrible they are."