ShyGirl101 (Is it love or Friendship)
Okay well so far I've been making fun of other confessions and stuff but I know now that it is kinda hard to say the stuff that is really bugging me even if it is weird and stupid. Well I have a confession and it is about me and my ex boyfriend well before we ever went out we was best friends and told each other everything and I have always had a crush on him I'm the way he looked his personality and the way he treat the girls he had been with he was such a good guy. We known eachother for 2 to 3 years and in the 7th grade we finally gave it a chance and went out for like a week but it never felt quite right to either one of us so I had this plan to finish out the week with him because I didn't want to break his heart by leaving him so quickly but then on Friday he broke up with me which I was going to do have out 7th hour but he did it before 7th hour and I was so relieved because I didn't have to break his heart but at the same time I was hurt because I knew our friendship would never be the same again and I just felt like crying not for the fact that we had broke up but for the fact that I just lost my best friend after the break up everything went to h*** he became and a****** and I became a b**** towards everyone even this other guy who had a big crush on me and finally had the guts to ask me out and I went off him telling him fck no and that he don't deserve me and after I said that I didn't realize what I did and I felt like s*** about it so bad that I didn't talk to no one for like the rest of the quarter. Me and him never talked again just every now and then like hi and bye and sometimes his new girlfriend would talk stuff about how he was such an a****** to her and I just wanted to go off and beat her ass but I didn't. Finally I apologized to the other guy that I cussed out for asking me out and me and him got together this guy made me smile by everything he did but I left him because I couldn't stop thinking about my ex it hurt so bad that I just lost my best friend all because I tried to make us into something more it ruined everything and I'm so hurt from it I mean it like eats me away I haven't had a man since then every guy who does ask me I turn down and every guy who is good to me I hurt. What is my problem can anyone give me some advice on how I can rebuild my friendship with him I just want my best friend or sometime of friendship with him back.