Drifting further apart.

A few months ago I moved myself and my kids out of my fiance's house. We lived together for almost seven years. As time went on, though, I got less and less excited about getting re-married.
We just didn't get along well. The house was too small, my kids are teens so it was very h****** my fiance being a 'step-dad' to them.

My confession is that I've been MUCH happier living on my own. We still see each other, and we're still engaged. But I don't know if I want that. I love him, but the longer I live on my own with just me and my kids, the more I realize how little we have in common. I'm not at all interested in other men, I just don't know about our future. I just feel sad about it.
It's been very easy for me to transition into being independent. I love being able to get up in the morning and do exactly what I want. I love that I don't have to make his coffee. I love that no one smokes in my house anymore. I love that the place stays neat and tidy. I love that I don't have to ever stop what I'm doing to cater to his needs.

But I miss him sometimes when he's not there. I just don't know what to do. I think I'll just leave things the way they are for a while. Maybe I just need more time.

Jul 8, 2010

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