I Wish I Could Love more than 20 Seconds

I am secretly afraid of commitment.
I'm only in eighth grade and I've always wanted a boyfriend for longer than a week. Last year, I had 5 boyfriends that I never liked much that grew old after a week. So I dumped them.
One of the ones I dumped was one that liked me the entire year, but still helped me try to get the one I was really liking: his best friend.
Last year and this year both, his best friend turned on me and spread rumors about me after rejecting me last year, and this year he was just plain rude. I don't like him any more.
I moved on this year to a nerdy boy who had a little sense of humor, but he follows me around like a lost dog and is way too clingy for me.
I sit next to the boy who liked me last year every day in science class thinking, "I really wish I didn't break up with him," because I am in love with him.

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  • Oh, I also have several long term commitments with people similar to myself, so it's not commitment that's the issue, it's the status quo that if you don't commit in a traditional way that there's something wrong with you.

    There isn't.

  • Look into the various types of polyamory and open relationships.

    I tire of new partners pretty rapidly, but I don't stop loving them which unfortunately makes it very easy to hurt them.

    When you can explain this to people up front in a way that doesn't trivialize their time with you, it does a lot less damage to them and you will be happier with yourself.

  • Go out with me. I'll love you for 10 minutes, but you'll remember me your whole life.

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