I Enjoy abuseing sexually my wife
I tried a*** s** with my wife 3 years and it opened pandora's box. Its always fun but I become a monster when she's in agony it really turns me on. Alot of times she starts crying and thats when I enjoy it the most, I want to stop but I can't help but keep thrusting into her and pushing her face down into the bed. Each thrust that brings a sob, a wimper, a held back grunt, or a painful sigh (The ones that sound like a hiss) sends a intense chill down my spine and I want to thrust harder, but I maintain speed and force. I'm in love with her pain cause for some twisted reason it proves her devotion to me. After I c** inside her I instantly feel guilty and start cuddling at which point she breaths a sigh of relief at the end of her ordeal. I promise my self I won't do it again but eventually I start craving the experience again. At one point she started refusing to do it and that just made me want it even more,so I would then pressure her more and more to the point that she didn't enjoy s** cause she knew it would lead to pressure for a***. It put a strain on our relationship but eventually I would get my way with her. One time we got in a large argument that got so bad I really thought she hated me and I was really angry and told her I was leaving, but for some reason she was afraid of me leaving her and in desperation pleaded for me to stay and in tears actually offered me a*** s**. I was so angry I wanted to hurt her but b(elieve it or not I have yet to swing at her) so I took the offer wanting revenge. I don't remember how I got her clothess off I remember rolling her over roughly in doggie postionand coldly telling her this was going to be rough and she kinda said "Its ok. I need to be punished". I don't know why she said that but thats kinda what I wanted it to be. After hearing that my anger went away but I still needed to take what was mine quitly lubed up (I wanted her to think I was going in raw when in fact I wan't) and thrust it in her somewhat aggresively but not nearly as forceful as I intended. She let out a muffled scream and lunged forward pulling me out of her I cought her by the shoulder her pulled her in tightly and whispered in her ear "This needs to happen" she said "I know... just do what you need to do." she said in a dubdued tone. At that I firmly reinserted my c*** followed by cycles of slow entry but fast recoil to prolong the amount of time her a*** stayed tight. I did what I could t keep her in little pain for hurting me earlier but she loosened up and just laid there taking it after she loosened up I began thrusting faster to draw out those same old muffled grunts that lead me to c**. These days she still hates a*** but we now have a arrangement where I get to have a*** s** only once a week but that it can be any time during the week I choose and she has to endure it till I c**. I don't knew if she dreads the arrival of each new week or just learned to livr with it but she knows this is now apart of our relationship and faithfully endures her obligation. I sometimes want to stop tne arrangement but I never say it to her because once I close this arrangement I'll have a hard time getting it back. I don't want this cycle of consensual rape but I need it.